In His Own Image
by Brazen Hussy
Summary: Choices mean so much more in a world where survival hangs by a thread. With the threat of the Governor looming over the prison survivors, Beth makes the choice she must to save her family, while Merle makes the choice he must to save himself. Merle/Beth (or Meth, if you prefer) angst with a bit of smut. Note the rating and don't read if the age gap makes it an issue for you.
1. Chapter 1

_Note: Forgive me, this is the result of a late night discussion with the lovely Ghostwritter84 about 'I Ain't a Judas' and her fantastic story 'Hope In The Darkness', and an attempt to prevent copious amounts of Merle smut creeping in too early to my other story, 'Weeds' (to be updated Wednesday). Hopefully this doesn't read as rushed._

_So, for those craving some Merle smut, here you go. Although if you don't want Merle/Beth, or Meth smut, best to go away. To quote The IT Crowd, 'It's not for you, Jen."_

**In His Own Image**

Beth had made her choice.

Carol was in the cell on one side of her, and her father in the other. She could tell from her father's stertorous breathing that he was asleep, while the occasional whimper from Carol's cell told her she slept. Thanks to her father's protective instincts, Carl was further away down the block and should hear nothing. Michonne was off on one her nightly patrols, while Daryl and Rick were out on watch. She'd caught the careful glances Daryl had been at pains to hide, and suspected he didn't trust Rick to watch alone anymore.

Leaving on her tank top, Beth pulled off the pyjama shorts she wore and put on her jean cut offs. With only socks on her feet, she crept out of bed and along the walkway, past the other cells. Hearing a particularly loud whimper from Carol as she passed Beth froze, fearing discovery. After a few moments of silence from the darkness of Carol's cell, she took her chance and continued towards the stairs.

Sometimes she wondered what Carol must dream about to scare her so; was it the life she had lived, or the one she was living now? Carol was always so calm during the day, Beth never knew how to ask her about her troubled nights. Still, perhaps that was for the best.

The air in the prison was cool, and she could feel the chill of the floor seeping through the thin fabric on her feet as she approached the large riot gate. Beth tried to peer through the darkness into the cell behind it, but she couldn't see anything other than that the door was closed. She took the spare keys from their hiding place in one of the empty cells and stealthily unlocked the door. Pausing, she listened hard for any sound of movement. She could hear nothing except the low empty moan that seemed to haunt the prison in moments of quiet. Stepping quickly through, she gently closed the door behind her, not locking it.

"Wha' cha up ta, girlie?"

His voice was a low rasp at the best of times, but even though he whispered, the sound seemed to scrape too loudly across her already raw nerves. "Shh. Be quiet." She listened intently again, but they seemed not to have disturbed anyone. She turned back to him, and opened the door to his cell.

"I want to talk to you," she whispered, and was slightly thrown when he snorted derisively. This had all seemed so much easier when she'd planned it earlier this evening, listening to her father's comments throughout the day, his support of Daryl. They needed Merle.

"Ya picked a funny time ta talk, girlie, less it ain't really talkin' ya after," he chuckled. She wasn't sure she liked that sound. "Come closer."

Beth hesitated, and it must have shown. "Now, ol' Merle ain't gonna hurt ya none, but I don't wan' tha others findin' me wit' tha farmer's daughter in my room at one in tha damn morning. Come closer, we can talk better."

Aside from her unwillingness to sit on the cold floor, it seemed foolish to keep her distance, so Beth crept into the cell and sat on the edge of his bed, ignoring his start of surprise and curling her feet up under her. The moonlight covered them both in a grey wash of light, softening the hard lines of his face and broad bare chest. The romantic in her would like to believe it was a silvery glow, but this place destroyed any sense of romance; T-Dog was right, it was a tomb.

"Wha' tha hell ya think ya doin', girl?" Merle asked again, suspicion in his voice.

"I… I came here to discuss a proposal with you," she managed in a surprisingly level voice. For a moment she was impressed with how well this was going.

"Is tha' right? Well, I ain't puttin' out wit'out a ring."

Beth blushed, and was immediately annoyed with herself. Obviously it was very odd, her sitting on a half-naked man's bed at night, particularly a man like Merle; she knew what he was capable of. Still, wasn't that the whole reason why she was here? If he accepted, she would have to learn to put up with him, and so Beth forced herself to continue.

"My father and Daryl want you to stay. They say you've got military experience, that you'll be useful in defending us. But Rick and the others don't trust you. They think you're going to betray us."

"Tha' right?" said Merle flatly, and Beth wondered if she imagined the sense of hurt resignation in his voice. She thought she probably had; men like Merle didn't really have those kind of feelings. Though she knew he wasn't stupid; he knew these people didn't want him here, and he must have known it was with good reason. Merle knew he was just the burden they had to carry if they wanted Daryl, the debit to his credit in their rapidly dwindling accounts.

"I don't trust you either," she said with false calm, "I think you're dangerous."

That got his interest. He looked at her sharply, as though reassessing her. "I am dangerous," he said in a low voice. "Seems ta me ya must be as crazy as Officer Friendly, comin' here alone at night, _unarmed_..."

Beth raised her eyebrows and looked as pointedly as she could at his stump, weak and naked without its covering and revealed in the dim light as a jagged mess at the end of his arm. Merle scowled at her unspoken implication and, for a second, she felt a stab of pity for him as well as a degree of admiration.

"Get out, girlie, 'fore I call somebody."

"I'm not giving you a choice. You're going to listen to what I have to say first."

"I don't have ta do nothin', _girlie,_" he sneered. He looked like he really would cry out, and Beth thought quickly.

"I'll say you attacked me," she ventured, and Merle's lip curled in disgust.

"After yer opened two locked doors? They'd smell ya bullshit. Bet ya even had ta steal them keys."

"Maybe. But look at me… and look at you. It wouldn't matter what they knew must have happened. They'd _choose _to believe it of you, wouldn't they? Even Daryl wouldn't be able to save you." She must have sounded convincing; Merle was looking at her with ill-disguised loathing now. Beth was surprised. Surely he didn't really believe they'd just kill him out of hand? Didn't he know they weren't those kind of people?

"Say wha' ya gotta say, then get outta my goddamn room."

"I want to make a trade," she replied, waiting for Merle to respond in turn. Instead he said nothing, watching her carefully. Taking a deep breath, Beth continued. "If you are prepared to stay… stay and defend this prison, protect the people in it, I'll… I'll sleep with you."

…

Merle stared at her for a moment, and for one terrifying second she thought he was going to laugh out loud. It would wake everyone, and lead to some rather tricky explanations...

Instead he snorted again, said "Get tha fuck out," in a way that suggested he _had_ been about to laugh, and lay down with his back to her.

Beth was upset and, if she was honest with herself, a little offended at being rejected out of hand. Emboldened by anger, she reached out to one muscular shoulder and attempted to shake it. "Don't turn your back on me. I'm not done."

"I am," he replied, not moving.

"Well, I'm not."

"Ya think cos I'm in a jail, I'm inta jail_bait_?"

"I think you… _I thought you would want sex_," Beth rushed out, blushing again. Merle was suddenly sat up and staring at her.

"Shit, ya can't even say tha word," Merle scoffed, his grin becoming more wolflike. "Can ya say _fuck_, darlin'? Cos tha's wha' we're talkin' here, ain't it? Fuckin' each other?" Beth was too shocked by his language to respond, and Merle didn't give her a chance to reply. "Well answer me, girlie, ain't that wha' ya offering? I get ta enjoy tha' tight young body a yours, an' then I go risk my beat up ol' bones fer this sorry bunch a pricks?"

She drew in a breath. "Yes… though the others couldn't know about it. I'd have come to you when I could."

"Oh-ho, _now_, so it ain't even some one off action I'd be gettin'. No, I'll be gettin' myself a pretty lil' bit on tha side. Well, ain't that _nice_? Ya even legal, girlie?"

"I'm seventeen."

"_Really_?" he responded dryly, not sounding convinced.

"I turned seventeen four and a half months ago."

"Well, that half month surely makes a difference." She could tell Merle was mocking her now, and perhaps it was the stress of the situation but she felt her temper flare. She had never thought of herself as particularly vain, but she knew she'd been one of the prettiest girls in school, and the boys had all been desperate to date her. Jimmy had chased her all over the farm, and now she was offering herself to this nasty old redneck and he was laughing at her, turning her down, like she wasn't good enough. Her hand flew out of its own accord to slap his face.

But Merle was quicker.

Beth gasped as he neatly caught it and twisted her into him, trapping her hands and leaving her back pressed up against his bare chest, her head tipped back onto his shoulder and, even more awkwardly, her buttocks nestled tightly into his lap. Switching arms, he placed the stump across her throat with surprising gentleness, resting it lightly against her delicate collarbone so that it only encouraged her to keep her head back on his shoulder. Meanwhile his hand wrapped around her waist over her stomach, effectively trapping her against him. Beth realised she'd had no concept of a mans potential strength until now.

"Somebody's gotta temper, don't they, sweetness?" Beth didn't scream for help, and given he hadn't bothered to cover her mouth, he must have known she wouldn't. This was not a position she'd want the others to find her in. It didn't prevent her from struggling a little though, causing her ass to grind into his groin.

"Stop that," he snapped in her ear, his arm tightening around her stomach, "lil' girl like you won't appreciate tha consequences."

"I'm not a little girl," Beth hissed back, "now let me go!" It was distracting, having his voice buzzing low in her ear, the scuff of his beard raking across her shoulder.

"Naw, ya wanted ta have a talk, girlie. Let's talk."

"We can't talk like this," Beth tried again. This close she could smell the sweat and musk of his body. It was strange too, feeling the hot, furred skin of his chest against her. Jimmy had had a slighter, lankier build, while Merle was nothing but tough muscle. Even then, Jimmy had never held her like this, like she wasn't the one in control. It felt… she decided to stick with strange. It just felt strange.

"Don't like bein' this close ta me? Could be a problem, don't cha think?"

"I'd… I'd get used to it. To you."

Merle snorted softly. "Really know how ta flatter a man, don't cha? Anyway, hav' ta get used ta it if we're gonna fuck, girlie. Can't do nothin' wit'out bumpin' uglies." Beth tried not to tremble; she'd never given the details much thought. She'd just wanted to protect her family, to protect the group. She was never going to be as good with a gun as Maggie or the men, while Carol played the role of den-mother; Beth had to look for an alternative way to contribute. Keeping Merle on side was it.

Merle must have picked up on her trepidation. "Ya ever even been wit' a man, darlin'?" he asked softly, like he was genuinely curious. His hand trailed back lightly across her stomach, and she tried to ignore the sensation.

"Jimmy and I were together six months," she evaded. Merle's hand froze; it wasn't good enough.

"Ya a _virgin_, darlin'?" Merle almost sounded surprised, and he huffed a bitter laugh in her ear. "Ya tha virgin sacrifice ta tha monster, that it?" Beth was surprised.

"I never thought you were a monster." It was true; she never thought that for a minute, because he wasn't. Not the way the Governor was, not the way the dead were outside. Merle was violent and selfish and a class-A jerk, but not... not _monstrous_.

"Yeah, tha's wha' y'all think. An' maybe ya right…" he nibbled on her earlobe, and she gasped, "…mebbe I am a monster." His hand slid up to cup one breast through her tank top, and she fought down a shudder. "Who was Jimmy?"

"My boyfriend."

"He older than yer?" He brushed his thumb over her nipple, peaked by the cold, and it took everything she had not to push forward into his warm hand.

"N… no, we were the same age."

"So ya never had a man's hands on ya," he smirked, angering her. Was this just a game to him? She was trying to save lives!

"If I slept with you, I still wouldn't have had a man's _hands_ on me," she sniped back.

She felt Merle tense behind her, the scar of his arm scraping roughly against her skin, and thought for one hideous moment she had gone too far. Then he hummed one of his low chuckles, sounding genuinely amused.

"Ya got spirit, I'll give ya that." Suddenly his hand hitched up her tank top, snuck under her bra and was cupping her bare breast. Beth was shocked into a squeak of surprise, and Merle chuckled into her ear. "I can do _a lot _with one hand, girlie. Don't think ya could'a handled me wit' _two_." Then he began to massage her breast, palming the weight of the soft flesh and tweaking the rosy bud between his thumb and forefinger.

"_Ohh_…" moaned Beth. It felt so _good_. Wrong, but good. This was nothing like the damp and eager fumbling of Jimmy; Merle's hand was dry and rough and assured and _ohmygod_…

Merle had started sucking lightly at a skin just below her ear, right over her pulse point. He stopped a moment, laved the tender spot with his tongue then continued. _Sweet Jesus…_

"Does this mean… _uh_… we have a deal?" she managed to get out, trying to stay focussed on her objective. Beth was pleased she saved the needy whimper for when she felt him hardening against her ass. She could feel the liquid heat pooling low in her belly, and was stunned all over again that this was happening with _Merle Dixon_, of all people.

"I dunno, girlie," Merle whispered right into her ear, running his lips lightly along the outer shell, "I'm not sure I wanna virgin sacrifice." She opened her mouth to protest, given that what was poking into her behind now would suggest otherwise, but Merle continued. "Contrary ta wha' some a ya friends out there like ta think, I like my women warm an' willin'. It doesn't sound ta me like ya are."

"I'm willing to go through with this. I wouldn't have made the offer if I wasn't."

"Ya don't understan', girlie. I wan' it ta be _good_, know wha' I mean?" His hand dropped to the edge of her cut offs, fingers skimming along the hem and causing the taut skin of her stomach to twitch in anticipation. But Beth didn't really know what he meant, or what exactly he was asking her to do. It was unfair of him, she thought, he knew she was inexperienced, but she tried her best.

"I'd… umm, I'd try to make it good for you. You could teach me what you… what you like." She was so distracted by her own embarrassment, she didn't even notice Merle had unbuttoned her shorts until he slipped in his hand and cupped her bare curls.

"_Oh my God…!" _For a moment she enjoyed the startling feeling of being gently held in a man's large hand, but then she realised he would know how turned on she was. Frozen by panic, there was nothing she could do before Merle was stroking his middle finger up the seam of her folds, catching her moisture on his fingertip.

"Seems I was wrong 'bout ya not bein' warm an' willin'," he smirked. He pulled his finger away and brought it up to her mouth. "Taste yerself." Beth looked at him, shocked. Wasn't that wrong? "No?" he said, interpreting her reluctance as refusal, and instead popped his finger into his mouth with every appearance of delight. "Mmm. Sweetest pussy I ever tasted." Beth blushed, feeling both embarrassed and pleased, then angry that she would be pleased about a compliment from such a man.

While she was thinking, his hand trailed down and cupped her again, this time pulling her gently back into his hard groin, where he held her still as he rubbed up against her ass in firm circular motions, his breath hot on her neck. He felt huge, and she wasn't sure she take him. However, the feel of him moving against her round buttocks, combined with the pressure of his warm hand on her had Beth lusting for more. She moaned slightly as his fingers brushed her a little, and Merle's voice was once more at her ear.

It gave her a perverse pleasure that it sounded somewhat uneven.

"Ya want more, ya have ta ask fer it, girlie." He ran his hot, wet tongue over the curve of her neck, hitting the spot he'd sensitized earlier in a way that went straight to her clit. "Ya wan' ol' Merle ta make ya feel good?"

"Yes… yes..." Beth was past the point of no return now. She wasn't even sure she minded being called girlie anymore, provided she could feel this good.

"Then ask me, girlie."

"Please…_please_ Merle... touch me."

Merle moved so quickly she wasn't sure what he intended at first, and for a moment she thought he was pulling her beneath him. Instead he dragged her sideways across his lap, and while his hand tugged her shorts further down her slim legs, his head dipped to the breast he had left exposed and took her nipple into the furnace of his mouth.

Beth moaned, then arched upwards in a silent scream of ecstasy, unable to control herself as Merle's fingers began to work their magic in the silken wetness between her thighs. "Ah… ahh… _Merle_…" was all she managed to sob, so instead she indicated her pleasure by curling one arm around his head, fixing him to her breast, while her free hand rubbed hesitantly at the bulge beneath his boxers. He grunted and thrust up slightly, but didn't stop lavishing his attention on her body.

"Fuck… _fuck_, girlie," he growled against her burning flesh, "ya taste so fuckin' sweet."

Made bold by his words, drugged by the overload of her senses, Beth was surprised to hear herself beg, "I need to come. Please… make me come, Merle. Fuck me… please..."

Merle lifted his head and stared hard into her face for what seemed an eternity. She soon became self-conscious of his scrutiny, but then his skilful fingers dipped towards her core, teasing, and her head fell back onto his arm. Eyes closed, Beth writhed as he slicked her with her own juices, flicking the bundle of nerves to breaking point before dancing back to tease her entrance. Her own inexperience meant it wasn't long before she felt the world shatter, and as she went to cry out Merle captured her mouth with his own, silencing her with a seductive dance of lips and tongue. He tasted of cigarettes and something else unidentifiable, but she found she liked it. She rode his hand though her orgasm, kissing him for all she was worth until finally she came down, shaking and out of breath, slumped across his lap.

She looked up at him, golden hair splayed wildly across his stump, eyes wide with shock at her new found knowledge of men and women and the power of her own body. Merle stared back, his face so hard to read in the half light. She wondered if he'd take her now and what it would be like. She knew it would be painful, even more so given the size of the thing she'd felt beneath her hand, but after all this Merle would make it okay for her, wouldn't he?

"Ya should go now," he said flatly, and Beth's heart twisted in her chest. She'd failed.

…

She tried to resist the urge to cover herself, tried not to feel ashamed. Perhaps her plan was worth one last push, one last sacrifice of pride. "I'm sorry," she said in a low voice, "I… it was just because it was my first time. It won't happen again. I'll do better next time, you can tell me what you want and I'll do it…"

"Stop," Merle cut her off sharply, "That ain't…" He sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. "It ain't you. You were…," he paused again, as though trying to find words. "There ain't nothin' wrong wit' wha' ya did, okay? I jus' didn't mean it ta get that far. I jus' thought…"

Beth was desperately trying to understand. "Thought what?"

"Thought ya would ha' fought me off, screamed or somethin'. Didn't think ya'd…"

"Go through with it?" asked Beth, finally understanding. "I meant it. If you stand with us, I'm yours… if you want me." Merle grimaced, and Beth flushed. "Oh. You don't want me." She had been too eager, begging him for more like a slut… he was disgusted with her.

"Fuck, girlie, ain't I already tol' ya yer was perfect?" he snapped. Beth didn't think he had, but for some mad reason she treasured the words away in her heart, despite their irritated tone. "Listen, I was jus' messin' wit' ya, okay? I kept pushin' ya, thinkin' I'd teach ya not ta think ya can mess wit' me. I never meant fer it ta go as far as it did. But then... I couldn't stop. It don't matter..." She must have flinched, as he added "Shit, I jus' meant I weren't never plannin' on leavin' this group. Daryl's here, he's my brother. I can't… he's kin, understan'?"

"No, I don't understand. If it's not that you don't find me attractive…"

"It ain't," he rumbled, in way that Beth felt all the way to her core.

"… then you could have..." now she wasn't in thrall to her hormones she stumbled over the words again, "…could have had _sex_ with me anyway and stayed with the group. I would never have known." She leaned towards him, trying to read his eyes in the dark. "Why didn't you?"

Merle's face was stone, and after a few moments passed Beth thought he wasn't going to answer. She lowered her head and began to adjust her clothes.

"Ya ever read Ayn Rand?"

"_What?" _

"Ayn Rand. Wrote these books 'bout people doin' shit fer 'emselves, not carin' 'bout other people, society an' shit. Picked one up in tha library at Woodbury, thought it would be fer me. There was this bit in it I liked. 'Every man builds his world in his own image. He has tha power ta choose, but no power ta escape tha necessity of choice.' I thought 'bout that a lot when I looked at tha Governor." His voice seemed distant; contemplative even, if that could be said of Merle Dixon.

"And what did you choose?" Somehow, Beth knew the answer was important.

"World's already full a monsters. Don't see no point addin' to 'em before my time." He looked at her. "Spent my whole life makin' bad choices…"

He didn't finish, but Beth understood. For whatever reason, Merle had decided she wouldn't be one of them.

"This Ayn Rand, you said she wrote that every man builds the world in his own image?" Merle nodded. "Have you read the Bible?" Merle nodded again, frowning slightly. "Genesis 1:27. 'So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him.' When I was young…" Merle snorted, and Beth smiled.

"When I was youn_ger_, I asked my father why he did that. My father said it was so when we looked at ourselves, we would know that there was always a little bit of good in us, whatever bad things we'd done, and when we chose to be good again, it would help us make the right decisions."

"Sounds like bullshit ta me," responded Merle cynically, though Beth noticed he couldn't look at her when he said it.

"But like I told you earlier Merle, people choose to believe what they want. You chose to be a man, not the monster the others think you are. And I…" she reached out and touched his prickly cheek, "I choose to believe you might even be a good man... _underneath_ all the jerk." Merle's lips twitched slightly, and he watched as Beth stood up and rearranged her clothes, picking up the keys as she went. She turned to look at him before she left.

"I'm glad you've decided to start making good decisions, Merle," she whispered, leaning down and pressing a strangely chaste kiss to his cheek, before moving her smirking lips to his ear, "Although I must confess that, after tonight, I regret I had to be one of them."

Merle watched in stunned silence as she left his cell, silently locking the door behind her. Despite what she'd said, he didn't try to stop her.

Merle had made his choice.

…

There you go, my first Meth smut. I hope you enjoyed, and remember that your reviews are what feed my muse.


	2. Chapter 2

_Note: Sorry, this chapter has become a little long (as per usual!) and I've had to divide it in two. The smut is coming, and hopefully it won't be alone in doing so…_

**Chapter Two**

Beth watched him carefully.

It was a few days since she had sought him out in the dark, and she couldn't get the memory out of her head_._

Occasionally Beth was embarrassed, mentally flinching when she remembered how quickly she had succumbed to him, despite his initial rejection; how she had come so eagerly under the touch of his hand, how she had cried out her pleasure into his hot and so often hateful mouth. He had fed a need she never knew existed, and in his carelessly cruel way had still left her unsatisfied. Even as she stealthily slid her hand between her legs in the prison night, she already knew her own touch would be no substitute for his.

Always quietly reflective, Beth wondered if she was investing the whole thing with too much significance. Perhaps, like other girls her age she'd known, she wanted her first truly sexual experience to have some kind of meaning. Maybe she was trying to excuse her behaviour by making a moment's lust into something more, some turning point for them both. Or maybe it was simple vanity, wanting to believe that there was something about insignificant, innocent Beth Greene that was powerful enough to alter a man as tough and hard and set as Merle Dixon.

Often however, she thought very differently. For the briefest of instants, she had seen there was something in Merle, a seed of potential to be a better man than he was. And what stayed with her was that the revelation wasn't like his interactions with Daryl, where the care, the concern, the _love_ was shown all too reluctantly, like it was something shameful that had to be buried beneath bonds of blood and loyalty. No, he had _chosen _to show it to her, to share that tiny luminous part of himself that yearned to be good; he had willed her to understand that there was still something inside Merle that stood between him being just another asshole and being… being a man like Randall… like the _Governor_.

And somehow that was worse…

Now, burdened with that secret knowledge, she was starting to notice other things about him. The way he kept apart from everyone, the physical distance he maintained at all times. Beth now saw the raw, longing glances he sent a totally oblivious Daryl when he thought no one was looking, though he rarely if ever approached him. Even the verbal taunts and barbs that he slipped beneath the skin of the group started to seem hollow and empty, there for show and force of habit.

Most of all she noticed the way he avoided her.

Not that he had ever sought her out before, nor had she spent any significant time with him, but somehow his past absence was different to his present avoidance. He was never, _ever_ in the same space as her alone, even when she carried little Judith. Neither did he speak to her or even look at her when they ate their meals, accepting her bringing him a plate without glancing up, without so much as a grunt of acknowledgement. It had earned him a few hard glances from Glenn and even Daryl, but she merely shook her head at them and thankfully, things were let be.

Of course, that could only last so long.

…

"Beth, can I talk to you privately?"

Beth looked up at her father's face from where she sat on the stairs, then around the room. Carol was too busy bouncing Judith on her arm to pay much attention, while Carl and Maggie were engaged in loading some small handgun clips from their new arsenal on the table. She had pretended to be watching them, but in reality she had been looking slightly beyond, watching Merle sit alone as he stripped and cleaned one of the handguns he's selected for himself. She judged him to be too far away to hear anything.

"Sure, Daddy." She was surprised when he led her slowly outside the prison building, to the small concrete yard that still held its own against the walkers. He hobbled over and sat down on one of the benches. Beth was tempted to help as he struggled to prop his crutches up against the side, but she decided against it. "Did you want to talk about something in particular?"

He studied her for a moment, before saying in a careful voice, "I want to talk to you about Merle."

She knew he was watching her reaction, and she thought she controlled herself rather well. "Okay," was all she said, barely any inflection in her voice at all. However, it wasn't enough to deter him.

"I've seen you watching him, the way you both avoid each other…" Beth drew a breath but didn't correct him. "I want to know if…if there's something you need to tell me. If he _did_ something."

"There's nothing to tell, daddy," replied Beth after a moment… and there wasn't. What occurred had been between her and Merle; they were both adults and it was no one's business but theirs.

"I'm not here to judge," her father persisted, "whatever happened, you can tell me, it wasn't your fault…"

"Daddy, stop!" Beth said sharply. "If Merle had done something to me I didn't… didn't _like_ I would tell you! But he hasn't, he hasn't hurt me, and I'm surprised you think he would. He wouldn't hurt a woman like that… he wouldn't hurt me."

"You can't know that!" he argued. "He was going to kill Michonne…"

"But he didn't, and the only reason he tried was because Woodbury thought she was a threat. And let's be honest, daddy," she struggled in vain against the hint of bitterness in her voice, "I'm not _quite_ in the same league, am I? I doubt Merle wakes up in the night in a cold sweat about me…"

"Beth, Merle isn't a good man…"

"I…" Beth stopped, sighed, and tried again in a more even tone.

"I know you and the others think Merle is irredeemably bad; even Daryl does… and maybe he is…" she held up her hand when her father went to interject, "…let me finish. But… daddy, have you ever thought how it must _feel_, to spend your whole life with people watching you, watching you and just _waiting_ for when you're going to do something bad? Wouldn't you… would you _want _someone to watch you because they were waiting for you to do something good?"

He stared at her, frowning with incomprehension. "What do you mean, child?"

"I'm saying I… _we_ have to give him a chance, we've got to help him, because otherwise…" she trailed off. For some reason, she felt a lump form in her throat, and she couldn't finish.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. "You're a good girl, Beth, with a kind heart, and you were always one for helping people, but…"

Beth stood up angrily. "Don't say it," she said in a cold voice. "Don't you dare!"

Her father was shocked. "Beth! I don't..."

"Don't you dare," she said quietly, "don't _dare_ make everything you ever told me, that you taught me… that I _believed _in into a lie!" She took a shuddering breath and quoted, "And be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.' You told that was the most important line in the whole Bible, and I believed you. I _believed_ you!"

"Yes, but Beth…"

"No! Don't you see? There can't be no ifs and buts and exceptions because times are hard! We gotta keep faith now most of all, because otherwise it means nothing! Don't you see that?" She pressed a hand tightly to her mouth, as though to contain what she wanted to say. Hershel said nothing, merely looking at her in stunned silence. Eventually she pulled her hand away, and held out her wrist to him. His eyes flickered in pain and dropped away from the thin white scars that crossed her skin. "We never… we never really talked about this."

"No… but I understand why you did it."

"I know, but do you understand why I _didn't_?" She heaved a small sigh. "I told Maggie I didn't realise it would hurt so much, but it wasn't _that_ cut I was talking about. It was being separated from my faith, from God. Knowing if I did this, I cut myself off from Him forever." She sat back down, and let her father put and arm around her again. "I knew then how important my faith was to me, how much it meant. It's part of me now more than ever, but it doesn't mean anything if I don't live it. You understand? That's why I've got to give Merle a chance. It's just as much for me as for him. Maybe that's selfish, but…"

"It's not selfish, Beth," interrupted her father sadly, and Beth looked at him surprised. He gave her a little twist of a smile, then looking away towards the fences, he asked, "Did I ever tell you how different your mother was from Maggie's?" Beth shook her head, eyes wide at the unexpected digression.

"Well, they were. Josephine… Maggie's mother, she was _very_ different to your mom. I wouldn't never have stopped drinking if it hadn't have been for her, and Maggie, she has the same kinda strength. It's steely, centred, something for people to lean on when times get tough. They can cling to her and she'll never let them down, she'll support them and they'll know they can rely on her. But being that way has its good and bad, Beth. She'll never really be able to let more than a few people be close to her because they come to depend on her, and… it's so _hard_, Beth, caring and being strong for people like that.

You… you're just like _your_ mother. You care easy, and you try and… and _wrap_ yourself around all those people you care about, protect 'em, try to heal them somehow so they learn to stand on their own again. It's a different kind of strength, the kind that gives back. I needed that after Maggie's mother died… needed healing. Maybe that's what Merle Dixon needs too, I don't know. But it's more risky, Beth. I lost your mother 'cause she would take in Duncan, and the Fischers, and when they turned…" his voice broke slightly. "You can't save the world, Beth. Maybe people get better, maybe they don't, but you're the one taking all the risk, and with a man like Merle..."

"I know, daddy, I know," Beth whispered, throwing her arms around him, "but I have to try. I didn't see it at first but now I… I don't know how the rest of you _can't_ feel it, the pain that flows out of him. It's like an open wound in his chest and can't nobody see it but me. I don't think he ever had anybody but Daryl in his whole life, and now Daryl's with us, he's so… it's more than just _being_ alone, daddy; it's loneliness, loneliness that's soul-deep and it's just bleeding outta him."

"Beth, my beautiful Beth," Hershel whispered, pressing his face into her hair, "I wish I could tell you not to do it, darlin', but one thing Josephine and Annette had in common was they were damn ornery when they put their mind to it." Beth laughed a little, and her father squeezed her tightly before letting her go. He reached for his crutches and stood up. "Think I'm gonna go read my Bible now, have a word with the man upstairs. Maybe tell him what I think of how he's been running this place lately."

Beth did her best to smile for him. "Alright. I think I'll stay out here a while, enjoy the sun."

Herschel nodded, and looked away. "I know you'll what you think is right Beth, but just be careful. Remember… I need you too."

Beth watched as her father made his way slowly inside, then turned her face up to the sun, enjoying the warm and quiet, so different to the cool, dim interior of the prison.

She was shocked when a hand clamped down over her mouth and she was lifted by an iron grip.

…

"Wha' in tha fuck d'ya think ya doing?!"

"Funny, I was going to ask you the same question. Only without the cussing, obviously."

Beth was not pleased. It had been terrifying to be picked up without effort or explanation and carried off, and it was only when she realised that the arm round her waist had a metal cover that she calmed down slightly. Merle had taken her into the neighbouring cellblock that poor Axel and Oscar had cleared out, so while it was walker free, it was not as clean and had hardly any furniture. Not that it apparently mattered to Merle. He had simply dumped her on a dusty table and started raging at her.

"Who tha _fuck_ d'ya think ya are, girlie, talking 'bout me like that?"

"I was trying to stop my father worrying about me, which he wouldn't be doing if you hadn't started _avoiding_ me so obviously," she replied with irritation. Merle at least had the decency to look the tiniest bit sheepish, so Beth pressed her advantage. "And _you_ shouldn't have been eavesdropping. Why were you out there anyway? Last I saw you were cleaning your gun."

She didn't miss how Merle's eyes slid away from hers for brief second before he returned fire. "I ain't the one got caught talkin' 'bout shit they shouldn't."

"Why shouldn't I talk about you? Don't you want people to take an interest in you, to care?"

"Fuck no," snapped Merle. "I don't care 'bout no one but Daryl."

"I wasn't talking about Daryl. I was talking about…"

"I _heard_ who you was talkin' 'bout, an' tol' you I don't 'preciate others gettin' inta my business."

Beth decided on a change of tack. "Alright. I'm genuinely sorry I talked about you and I won't do it again. Are we done?"

Slightly confounded by this abrupt capitulation, Merle threw himself back into the offensive. "Ya damn right we're done!" he said, and walked past her towards the door behind her. She heard him turn when she didn't follow. "Wha' tha fuck ya still sittin' there fer?"

"I just want to be by myself for a minute. You go on; I'll follow in a little while." Beth couldn't hear the clang of the door, so she knew Merle was still there… hovering, undecided. So she gave him some incentive.

She sniffed…

…loudly.

"Hey! Wha' tha… girlie, fer fucks sake _don't_ start fuckin' cryin," he yelped, sounding horrified.

Beth pretended to whip her head round in surprise when she first heard his voice. "I thought you'd gone," she lied.

"No I fuckin' ain't, 'cos I'm still waitin' fer yer dumbass ta get in gear. It ain't safe out here."

"Then why did you bring me here?"

Merle frowned, caught by his own words. "Ya alright wit' me. I wouldn't… it ain't safe fer ya _by yerself_."

"Then stay with me until I'm ready to go back. We won't be missed for a while yet." Merle eyed her narrowly as he began to walk back towards her.

"What kinda game ya playin, girlie? Ya ain't really upset, are ya?"

"I am upset, but I wasn't actually crying."

"_Dammit_, girl…" he growled.

"I didn't want you to leave… I still don't."

"Wha' tha fuck _do_ ya want, Beth?"

"I suppose… what I want most of all is for you to trust me," Merle scoffed, and she added, "And don't call me Beth."

Merle looked at her oddly. "Why? Tha's ya name, ain't it?

"Yes, but it doesn't sound right coming from you."

"So what do ya wan' me ta call ya?" he asked, moving closer.

"Well, I… I kinda liked girlie, myself," she ventured, peering up at him from between her lashes. An emotion she didn't dare identify flashed across Merle's face, and his eyes darkened as he held her gaze. She thought for a second he would move toward her, but then the moment was gone, and he was turning away.

"We should go now," he rasped, making his way towards the door. Beth knew that this was her only chance before his strategy of avoidance came back into full effect.

"Merle!" It was the first time she'd called him by his name since that night, and it was enough to stop him, although he didn't turn. "Please, look… if you won't talk to me now, fine. I just want you to know, I'm here for you."

There was a long pause, before he asked in a low voice, "As what?"

"As…? I… don't know what you mean," Beth whispered, feeling the tension between them shift subtly. Merle turned now and began to approach, slowly, his steps predatory.

"I mean, what do I need ya for? I got Daryl." His eyes never left hers, and a shiver went up her spine; it wasn't fear.

"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity," she replied, unable to keep a slight tremor out of her voice. Merle smiled wickedly as he reached her, placing his arms on either side of her and pinning her against the table. He leaned forward suddenly, his mouth next to her ear. Beth could feel the heat rising off his body, could smell the earthy male scent of his skin and the tang of fresh sweat.

"Tha's Proverbs, ain't it?" Beth nodded, and he gave a low, humming chuckle that pulsed through her blood. "A friend. Huh." He moved back so his face was in front of her, his crystal blue eyes too near her own for comfort. "Ya got one a them quotations fer every occasion, don'cha?" he whispered, tilting his head slightly. Beth nodded again, struggling not to let her gaze drop to his mouth. "Yeah, I bet ya do, _girlie_. I jus' _bet _ya do. I'm wonderin' though, ya got one fer this?"

He closed the final few inches and kissed her.

…

_Smut is on the way… in the meantime, please do review because I read, respond to and love every one of them!_


	3. Chapter 3

_The response to this story has just been __**insane, **__so thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews and PMs; you are all awesome! Late again, I know; I did try to complete this for last night but your response has just been so incredible I was really nervous about ensuring this chapter was a good as I could make it. _

_Anyway, you asked for it, you got it, I hope you enjoy. Let Meth smut commence._

**Chapter Three**

As Merle teased her lips with his tongue, Beth allowed him entry with a moan of pleasure. The taste mixed with his own indefinable one was different this time… _coffee_, she thought, as she wound her arms around his neck and drew him deeper into the kiss. The feel was different too. Before, he had kissed her passionately, without caution, knowing she was already conquered. This kiss was more seductive; it teased, seeking a pleasurable surrender. Little did he know Beth had no intention of fighting anything that felt this wonderful.

The harsh scratch of his stubble against her cheek and chin acted as counterpoint to the liquid softness of his lips and tongue on hers. As she caressed his scalp, Beth was surprised to find that, although cropped short, the hair beneath her questing hands was soft, and possibly slightly curly. She wondered how Merle might look with a head of adorable cherub curls, and laughed to herself. No, that wasn't her Merle at all.

Merle gently eased Beth back onto the table, following her body with his. Beth had expected to feel slightly trapped with a man's weight pressing down on her, but Merle held most of it off her, and instead his large, warm bulk over her made her feel strangely safe and protected. She was further surprised when, instead of immediately reaching for her breasts as she expected, he reached into her hair and pulled out the band of her ponytail, smoothing the bright fall of gold across the institution grey of the surface.

However, Merle was no saint, and after a few more soft kisses she felt his hand sliding up her hip and under her vest and bra to caress her breast. His hand was warm and she loved the feel of his callouses dragging against her soft skin. His mouth trailed down to kiss the point of her jaw, before nuzzling under her chin and tasting the skin over her pulse point as he had done that night. Beth moaned his name tightly, and she felt his mouth move in a smirk against her.

"O taste an' see that tha Lord is good…" he murmured into her neck, before swirling his tongue deeply into the hollow of her throat. She couldn't help but arch up at the sensation, a gasp issuing from her, and Merle chuckled.

"Ain't that right, girlie? Ain't He _good_?" he whispered, sounding slightly bitter, but she couldn't speak while he was feathering kisses on her heated skin, along onto her fragile collar bone and then down… down further until he reached where her vest revealed the top of her breasts. His tongue darted out again and tasted the flesh between them in a long, slow lick. "Yeah, think tha's tha best case I know fer an ever-lovin' God; tha taste of a woman's tits..."

Beth was shocked and aroused at Merle's blasphemous comment, but she was too far gone in sensation to argue. Instead she clasped his head in her hands, pulling him up and kissing him more aggressively than she'd ever done; it worried her that she couldn't tell whether she was full of lust or anger or something else towards him, but as he swept his tongue over her full bottom lip, she found she didn't care. There was nothing but the drugging feel of his mouth, the heat of his body against hers and the steady throb of arousal that pulsed through her.

Merle began to tug up her vest awkwardly. Feeling slightly self-conscious even after all that had passed, she rather abruptly sat up a little to try and help him, crushing her breasts against the hard planes of his chest. The moment she did so, Beth was suddenly aware of how firm it was, how very different to her own soft body. Now when he pulled her top over her head, Beth pushed him up and shamelessly went to unbutton his shirt, not even giving him the chance to remove it completely before she was exploring him; palms rubbing firmly over the oiled silk feel of his muscular shoulders, fingers running through the crisp, curling hair on his chest. The musk smell was stronger and headier now, and in a moment of bold madness she leaned forward and ran her own tongue up high on his chest, enjoying the smooth salt-clean taste of his skin. Merle's head tipped back and he groaned deep in his throat, gripping her waist reflexively in a tight and painful hold.

"Ya learn fast, girlie," he rumbled unsteadily, and Beth felt a rush of adrenaline through her as she realised the power she had over him, the ability she had as a woman to give him such pleasure. It was an intoxicating feeling but, after she had seen the pain inside him, it wasn't in her to deny him. Carefully kissing down his chest quickly, before he could take back control, she took one of his nipples into the liquid heat of her mouth.

"_Fuck_!" he exploded, and even as Beth pulled away in surprise, she suddenly felt his hand at the back of her head, grabbing a handful of her hair and drawing her a little desperately back to his chest. Carefully she drew him back into her mouth and began to flicker her tongue over the flat nub gently, while her other hand cautiously toyed with its twin. His hand stayed in her hair, threading his fingers rhythmically through the silken weight and gently massaging the back of her skull.

"_Shit girlie… yesss…"_ he hissed, as she sucked a little at the nub, and then his hand had dropped to her arm and he was pulling her up into another kiss. This time she gently slipped her hand around his waist and under his shirt, feeling the raised tissue of old scars she knew she'd find there.

Merle immediately stiffened but she tightened her arms around him, not stopping her assault on his mouth as she pressed herself fully against him, suddenly aware of the hard bulge that now pushed insistently into her stomach. It seemed to be a tipping point for him, as once he relaxed and she loosened her grip, he quickly reached behind her to unfasten her bra. Once loose he ran the pads of his fingers up her spine, stroking over the uncovered flesh, then down again to the top of her jeans, where they traced maddeningly light circles over her sensitised skin.

"_Merle…_" she whimpered, burying her face between his neck and the collar of his shirt, distractedly noticing the smell of man and sweat was now mixed with gun oil and the harsh soap Carol had to use for their clothes. Beth quivered when he stopped and gently tugged one bra strap down her arm, following its progress with light nibbles of his teeth. Beth giggled at the slightly ticklish sensation, and Merle hummed one of his low laughs at her response. In playful revenge, she ran her own teeth over the tendon between his neck and shoulder, biting lightly then soothing the nips with open mouthed kisses, causing him to jerk his hips a little against her. She smiled against his broad shoulder.

He tasted good.

Meanwhile, Merle had worked off her bra and, supporting her with his bad arm, he tilted her back slightly and began to feast hungrily on her breasts. Having first followed the bottom curve of each with his tongue, his mouth spiraled inwards slowly. The contrast of his hot mouth and the cool air on her damp skin left her mewling desperately until he finally took her aching nipple in his mouth, but Merle wasn't done. He began just lightly grazing the bud between his teeth then sucking the point hard, the concentrated pleasure so close to pain Beth could do nothing but moan Merle's name in a pleading litany; then without warning his mouth covered her small breast, taking as much as he could of the small pale globe into his mouth while lapping and suckling sweetly. Beth's mind exploded in exquisite pleasure; hardly able to think, she gave a wordless cry, shuddering in near orgasm.

Merle moved back up and brushed her face with soft kisses, clearly thinking to nurse her through the apparent overload of her senses, while Beth, dazed and barely conscious of what she was doing, hooked a casual leg around him and ran it along his side, pulling him slightly down into her hips.

Encouraged by her action, Merle pushed his eager hips into hers; fisting her hair in his hand, he took her mouth in a passionate kiss. When she moaned in surprise at his more aggressive approach, he was encouraged to sink more of his weight onto her as the kiss became more demanding, stealing her breath away.

Beth tensed when his weight came down over her, mainly because the feel was so foreign to her and her thoughts so fogged by desire that she was momentarily bewildered as to what to do. It was only when the sharp zipper of his jeans was pressed painfully into her by his rapidly growing erection that she gave a small cry of pain. Merle stopped instantly and looked down at her, and Beth was startled at how his familiar blue eyes were nearly black with lust, his normally smirking face taut and severe with desire. He looked so different…

Merle's face began to change, a look of dawning horror appearing as he took in her tense body and wide eyes. Beth knew where this was heading, even as he stood up and turned away, his fist clenched and tension visible through his whole body.

"I… I shouldn't 've…" he choked out, before adding, "Shit… _fuck_… FUCK!" His booted foot connected with a mop and bucket left by the prisoners, and it went flying across the room.

"Merle…" Beth tried softly.

"I shouldn't have done it, Beth. I wasn't… _fuck!_" Something else went flying, Beth didn't see what. "I wasn't thinkin'." He half turned back to her, seemed to remember that she was completely naked from the waist up, and snapped his head away again. "I wan' cha ta know, I never… I never _looked_ at ya before tha' night, Beth. Not like this. Now… _shit_, I used ta beat up guys like me in prison."

"Merle, I'm a consenting adult..."

"Fuck, Beth, ya jus' a kid."

"You and I both know I'm not."

"Ya too young… or I'm too old. I don't fuckin' know." He scrubbed at his face with his hand and turned away. "Ya looked so… I couldn't…" He sighed, and tried again. "I ain't tha right man fer this job, Beth. I ain't…," he paused, searching for the right word, "I ain't a _tender_ man… an' tha's wha' you want fer ya first."

Beth stared hard at him for moment, then stood up and walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around him and whispering into his ear. "I meant everything I said to my father, Merle. Tell me, how many of those scars on your back did you take so Daryl didn't have to? I know exactly what you are Merle… what you can be… and I don't want anyone else."

"Beth, don't ask me ta be a worse man than I am," interrupted Merle, glancing back at her.

Beth smiled a little. "Only you would think caring about someone would make you a worse person."

"Damn girlie, I wish I knew what ya really wanted from me…" he sighed.

"What do I really want from you?" She repeated softly, slipping round to his front and placing butterfly soft kisses on his grim mouth and jaw. "I want to be _kind_ to you, Merle. I think you need someone to be kind to you… so _very badly_. I want it to be me…this world is hard enough with others, but I can't _bear_ to think of you never having someone care about you… to believe in you, to want something better for you. Let it be me, Merle, please..."

"Kind," he said, as though the word was alien to him. "Mebbe… but I don't like a martyr any more than a virgin sacrifice," he whispered, though he pulled her closer, leaning his head into her touch.

Beth grinned. "After what we just did, I can _hardly_ consider myself a _martyr_." Merle grunted a little, then after a few seconds he gave a resigned sigh.

"Guess I ain't strong enough not ta want this. If ya fixed on it, we'll try, though i's prob'ly a mistake. _An'_ I ain't gonna fuck ya," he said heavily. Beth opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. "No. Not yet. Ya jus' met me, darlin', an' I ain't gonna rush ya."

"We could all be dead tomorrow," Beth pointed out fairly.

"Mebbe, but if I'm gonna go, I wanna go wit' a clear conscience when it comes ta me an' ya. 'Labour ta keep alive in yer breast that lil' spark a celestial fire, called conscience."

Beth wrinkled her nose in thought, before deciding, "That's not from the Bible." Merle grinned.

"George Washington, girlie; tha _original_ George Dubya. Don't they teach ya kids anythin' in school these days?"

She returned his grin, but said slightly sadly, "Not lately." She wasn't sure how to get back into the moment, so lowering her eyes she began to play with the curls on his chest, twisting them around her finger before allowing them to spring back.

"Havin' fun, are ya?" Merle sounded amused, but she couldn't deny it.

"Yes. Jimmy didn't have any, not really. Just this little patch of down… right here," and she stroked her hand down between his pecs. She was secretly delighted when his muscles twitched at her touch.

"Yeah, well, don't think no more 'bout Jimmy. Ya wit' a real man now …"

"I know," she replied, slipping her arms around his neck again. "Please, don't make me wait, it's so much better when you do it…" she trailed off as Merle's breathing hitched, and she realised what she'd given away.

"Ya… ya _touched_ yerself, angel?" he rasped unevenly, eyes wide and fixed on her face.

"Yes…" she said quietly, embarrassed.

His voice was low and throbbed strangely. "Show me where, beautiful, show me _how_…" but it was too intense and she couldn't, burying her face in his neck instead.

"Shhh, darlin', i's okay, i's alright…" he whispered as he caressed her back. But Beth had heard the need in his voice, and she wanted to please him, to reward his willingness to give whatever they were a chance. Lifting her mouth to his ear, so he couldn't see her blushing furiously, she spoke haltingly.

"I… I _did_ touch myself… touched my breasts…my nipples… stroked my… stroked my _pussy_," she forced out. Beth could feel him listening intently, his breathing all but non-existent, so she continued a little more confidently. "Even that same night, when I still had… I had your _scent_ on me. I needed it so bad..." She paused when she thought he groaned a little, but when he said nothing she spoke again.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you. I got so… so _wet_ when I thought about what happened… every night, I _had _to touch myself. But it wasn't… it didn't feel as _good_. Not like when it was you, Merle. I wanted it to be you touching me. I needed to feel you so much…"

Merle shuddered out a breath, pressing his face into her hair before inhaling deeply. "_Fuck_, baby, I wish I could'a been there, seen ya jus' _one_ a them nights. Bet ya looked fuckin' incredible, all flushed and wantin'." Beth moaned at the image of him watching her come by her own hand, and Merle took his cue. "Take them jeans off," he whispered in her ear, "Take 'em off an' get on tha table."

Beth stepped away from him and complied, although in moving away from his warm chest her breasts were exposed to the cool air, and she could feel his burning gaze on them as her nipples visibly peaked. Eventually she sat on the table, wearing only her simple cotton panties in baby pink.

Merle came forward, and this time when she saw his darkened eyes and the tension in his face, she embraced it as the compliment it was. He slid a rough hand up her thigh, and she parted her legs, allowing him to stand between them. He pulled her forward to the edge and kissed her, and this time as she pressed against him she wriggled slightly, seeking the added stimulation of rubbing her aching breasts against his coarse curls.

He pushed her back and began a steady descent down her body with his mouth, while one hand rolled her nipple until she wanted to scream at him to grind between her legs again and relieve the pressure. Finally he reached her navel, where he flickered his tongue against the ticklish skin. Beth half laughed half moaned, before gasping, "Merle… stop teasing…"

Merle smirked and placed firm kiss above the waistband of her panties, before grabbing them with his hand on one side and his teeth on the other and pulling them slowly down her legs. She lifted them to make it easier, and once the panties were gone and shoved roughly into Merle's pocket, he slid his head between her ankles. She was a little surprised at first, but when he turned his head to nibble and suck on the thin skin of one of them, she jerked so hard she nearly kicked him in the head.

"Damn! Careful, girlie! Rough stuff is fer anotha time," he smirked, clearly feeling rather smug at her reaction. She managed to control herself as he worked his way up the inside of her legs, switching between wet opened mouthed kisses that cooled on her skin in the air, to scraping his stubbled chin over her tender flesh, leaving it to burn in his wake. By the time he reached her pussy, she was soaked.

He buried his nose in the thatch of soft curls above her weeping slit, rubbing his face into her. "Jesus, ya smell fuckin' _gorgeous_." Slipping down to his knees, he gently pulled open her lips with one hand. "_Fuck_, girlie, if ya could only see how beautiful ya look; all pretty an' pink an' glistenin' fer me." He placed a delicate kiss high on the inside of her thigh before sliding his tongue into her. Beth cried out as he traced the outer edges of her lips, tasting her fluids. "Shh, darlin', quiet now. Mmm… been thinkin' 'bout whether I'd ever get a taste of ya again. Such a _sweet_ lil' pussy, so _pretty_…" he whispered to it before slipping his tongue into her, this time sliding the tip into her entrance and thrusting inside rapidly. Beth all but screamed, and to her disappointment Merle stopped. He stood and leaned over her, stroking her face and looking pleased with himself.

"Know i't ain't easy with ol'Merle at tha wheel, but ya gonna have ta keep it down, sweetness. Can't be callin' attention ta us."

"But it feels…" Beth couldn't even begin to articulate how good it felt, and simply looked at Merle, wordlessly pleading. Merle looked conflicted, his eyes flicking back to the door, before a look of mischief came over his face. He leaned down further, his face hovering directly over hers.

"Do ya trust me, girlie?" he asked, eyes suddenly becoming serious as he looked for the truth in hers. He needn't have worried.

"Yes, I trust you," answered Beth with perfect honesty. The smirk came back in force and he planted a quick hard kiss on her lips.

"Then close yer eyes an' open wide…"

Beth thought she could guess where this was going, so she was surprised when she suddenly felt fabric pushed into her mouth. Looking down as best she could, she saw Merle had decided to stifle her cries with her own panties. She was shocked, especially since she could smell her own arousal on them, and somehow it only turned her on more.

"Yeah, you like ol' Merle's solution, don't cha girlie? Guess I can make ya scream all I want, hmm?" With her makeshift gag, Beth could only whimper and nod. Merle chuckled and put his head back between her thighs, lapping at the juices that had spilled from her. Beth arched with pleasure and slid her hand down between her legs to grasp Merle's head, while her other hand, white knuckled, gripped the edge of the table. Suddenly he teased a calloused finger round the edge of her opening, smearing her juices further; she whined, desperate for more.

"Listen…listen, girlie," he said, and Beth was pleased to hear his voice was thick with lust and a hint of pleading, "I'm jus' gonna put it inside ya a lil', jus' my finger, okay baby?... it'll feel good, I promise… jus' a lil', jus' so I can feel ya come." Aroused by his need, Beth thrust her hips up to him eagerly, raking her hand through his hair. "Tha's my girl," he murmured, and gently pushed the digit inside her and pumped her a little, allowing Beth to enjoy the warm, full feeling it gave her.

Merle now teased her mercilessly, circling her clit with his tongue and then only touching it enough to bring her to the edge before starting again. Beth yelped and moaned and begged as best she could through barrier of fabric, but by the time Merle decided to take pity on her she was shaking with tension, aching for release. Pressing his finger more firmly inside her, he sucked the tiny bundle of nerves into his mouth, and the pressure brought her screaming into oblivion.

When she came back to herself, her mouth was empty and she felt completely boneless and incapable of motion. She looked up to see Merle standing between her legs still, his hand gently petting her thigh. "Ya alright, girlie? Thought ya was gonna pass out there fer a minute," he rasped, somehow looking both smug and concerned.

"Yes…I think I nearly did. It's just… that was amazing. You were amazing. Thank you." Merle blinked a bit at that, and shook his head.

"Don't thank me," he said shifting uncomfortably. "Now, I gotta go take care of business, girlie, so you stay here." Beth noticed the very prominent bulge he sported, and reached out her hand towards him.

"Let me…"

"No," he said sharply. "Another time, mebbe." At her slightly hurt and disappointed look, he shot her a wry smile and patted her leg. "Ya ain't missin' much, darlin'. This ain't gonna be my finest hour; I'm hangin' by a thread here." And with that he walked off to one of the further cells. The _furthest_ cell in fact.

She still hadn't moved from the table when he returned a few minutes later, "Damn, took it all outta ya, didn't I, darlin'?"

"Mmm," she said happily, and he gave a genuine laugh.

"Come on, let's getcha back in them clothes a yers. 'Slothfulness casteth inta a deep sleep; an' an idle soul shall suffer hunger."

"What does that mean?" she asked, looking around for her panties.

"Means 'less ya get ya lazy ass in gear, we're gonna miss supper, an' _I _been workin' up an _appetite_."

"Oh no, Carol must have wondered where I was," she looked around, worried. "Merle, I can't find my pant…"

"Ain't seen 'em," said Merle quickly, "Leave 'em, we'll come back another time."

Beth began to dress without them, and as they left she said quietly, "You could have just _asked_ for them, you know. You didn't have to _steal_ them." Merle pretended to look confused, but there was a glint in his eye as he patted a pocket, escaping from which was a tiny corner of pink cotton.

"Now, girlie, where's tha fun in that?"

…

"Girlie, come get ya pillow!"

Beth looked up in surprise and confusion as all eyes turned to her. It was later in the evening, and she and Merle had been careful to appear separately, and not interact too much in front of the others. Merle was stood by his cell, slightly apart from the others, holding out his pillow.

"What cha up ta, Merle?" asked Daryl, and while curious herself, Beth was hurt for Merle's sake at the suspicion in his voice. Merle's eyes narrowed, but he didn't respond in kind.

"Girl's pillow's too hard; mine's too soft. We agreed ta an exchange. Ya got a problem wit' that, baby bro?"

"Shit, all these prison pillows are tha same. Anyway, since when are ya fussed 'bout pillows? Hell, I seen ya…"

"Thank you, Merle. It's very kind of you," said Beth, cutting across Daryl. "I'll go get you mine."

As she walked away, she heard Merle's voice float after her. "Tha's why ya can't get no women bro, ya don't know how ta treat a lady…"

Later that night, as she burrowed her face into a pillow that smelt of gun oil and harsh soap and Merle, she revelled in the knowledge that Merle did indeed know how to treat a lady… and if she was lucky, he might treat her again soon…

…

So, hope you enjoyed, if you did please do take a moment to review – I love reviews! I think there might be few more chapters in this, but let me know if you want more or not. Thanks!


	4. Chapter 4

_Note: I'm so sorry, there is some considerable degree of talking before the smut, referencing events in Episode 13 – Arrow on the Doorpost. Just grit your teeth and push through it. And once again thank you to all who have reviewed and favourited and followed, what started as a one shot has taken on a life of its own._

**Chapter Four**

"So… ya gonna talk ta me or what?"

Beth said nothing, not even turning around. She knew the silent treatment was a little childish, but she also knew if she spoke her emotions would overwhelm her; she couldn't look at him right now, she was still so upset. What could he have been thinking?

…

Everything had seemed fairly calm, and she thought it safe to leave him with the others while she deposited ammunition at various points within the prison. Of course, he'd been shooting his mouth off all day about going after the others, but that was just Merle. Then, while up on the walkway at the other end of the cellblock, she'd heard him yelling something about his brother and had known instantly there was going to be trouble.

Racing into the room, she just had time to see Merle and Glenn tumble down the concrete steps before Maggie and, more worryingly, Michonne had grabbed his arms.

Hurt and angry, she was trembling as she fired the gun. Ignoring what the others might think she'd stared hard at Merle, waiting... wanting... _willing_ him to look and see the pain he'd caused her. But he hadn't, deliberately looking away instead as he angrily shrugged off the women's hold. Somehow they'd spent the rest of the day avoiding each other, although when her father and the others had finally returned that became impossible. Even as she'd listened to Rick's words, telling them that war was coming, that they needed to be ready, she'd been acutely aware of Merle the whole time… of how he stood propped against the cell wall in front of her… or when he had walked casually behind her while speaking to Glenn… even feeling his presence behind her as the meeting ended.

Once Rick had finished, Beth watched for a moment as everyone broke away to deal with the news in their own way, either individually or into their usual couples. She then left herself to find a deserted corner far away from the others, wanting to be left alone while at the same time perversely hoping Merle cared enough to seek her out. Sometimes she didn't know what she wanted these days… no, that wasn't true. She knew what she wanted, she just didn't know if what she wanted was for the best. Beth had no time to give it further thought as she heard heavy booted footsteps behind her… and now here they were, him trying to bridge the gulf he'd created, and her failing to meet him halfway.

"Ya know, I… uh…seems I don't much like it when ya mad at me. Don't seem ta sit right wit' me."

Quite an admission from Merle, and Beth was forced to put her hand over her mouth and shake her head, still trying to maintain control. She didn't realise he'd walked up behind her until she heard his voice right by her ear.

"C'mon, girlie, _please_…"

Even though she clapped another hand firmly over her mouth, she couldn't cover the sobs that wracked her small frame, and in seconds Merle had turned her around and was holding her firmly in his arms, face buried in her hair. She tried to pull away a little half-heartedly, but her strength was no match for his, and after a few seconds she gave up and wound her fingers into his shirt, while her face was hidden in the black tee that covered his chest.

"Shh… shh, I know, darlin', I'm a bastard, ya can say it, ain't tha worst thing I been called…" After a few minutes she had quieted enough to mumble something into his chest, and Merle chuckled, clearly relieved. "Well, I don't know what cha said, but I can't say as I care s'long as ya talkin' ta me again."

Rubbing her face into his chest and sniffing, Beth looked up and repeated, "I wouldn't call you a bastard." Merle gave her rather twisted smile, and reached up a hand to her chin.

"Mebbe ya wouldn't, but I sure am one, makin' pretty girls cry. Still, guess ya gotcha revenge, huh?" he grimaced, looking down at the mixture of tears and snot that now decorated the front of his t-shirt.

"Sorry, but I think you got off lightly," she said, holding his gaze, letting him know she meant it. Merle sighed and pulled her back into him, and Beth tilted her head so she could hear the steady thud of his heart beneath her ear, and the words that rumbled out of him.

"Ya know I ain't a restful soul, Beth. An' _I_ _know_, ya gonna tell me ta be patient, but…i's my brother out there, my _baby brother_…an' it ain't right that I ain't out there, watchin' his back. Not now I found him again. Ya can understan' that, can't cha?"

Beth took her hands from their death grip on his chest, instead looping her arms around his waist. "When we first met… if it wasn't for your eyes, I would never have believed you were Daryl's brother," she said slowly, before looking up to face him. That was why she saw it, the tiniest flicker of something that crossed his face.

"Well, baby bro was always tha sweet one," he said, voice flat, clearly taking her words as some kind of rejection.

"That's not what I mean. I used to think you were both so _different, _but now...," she looked down at his chest, frowning, trying to think of how she could convey what she meant, "Daryl, he lives in the corners. Even when we weren't here, I saw… he was always pressed against the walls, back to them, almost invisible. He wants to keep other people where he can see them, at a distance, and not be seen himself…" She looked up, and saw Merle was watching her with a narrow gaze, listening intently. It threw her, such focus on her words, but she had to continue.

"You… you're not like that at all. You come and take over a room… you put yourself right in the centre of it, stand your ground and push people back. You ain't hiding from the world in the same way as Daryl. But I see now, you're both doing it for the same reason. You're both expecting to be hurt… waiting on the pain… only Daryl's trying to avoid it, and you're wanting to prove you can take it."

Looking up, she slowly reached up to stroke her hand down Merle's face. He didn't move, but his eyes moved over her face rapidly, and he was listening, always listening. "But you're so… you fill up a place, Merle; people get pressed against the walls, and folk don't like being crushed. When I saw them three with you, all of them hating you so much…" she stopped and choked back another small sob, and Merle held her so tightly it was almost painful. "It's in them to kill you, Merle, and there wouldn't be any questions if you gave them that push. We've all got to try to live here together, or we're all gonna die here together. You've got to start giving others their space… letting them breathe too. Don't you see that?"

"Nice ta know someone would'a cared, but… I ain't much one fer change, darlin'. Been this way a lot a years now. I'm too old…"

"How is the gold become dim! How is the most fine gold changed!" mocked Beth gently, pressing a kiss over his heart just hard enough for him to feel it through the fabric, before resting her head on his chest again.

"Hey! None a that smart mouth a yers, girlie," Merle growled jokingly at her, and Beth smiled though he couldn't see it. "An' I weren't never _fine_ _gold_ ta begin wit'…" Beth merely slipped her arms a little higher, and was surprised to feel him tense as she gave him a hug. She looked up, trying to read his face.

"What's wrong?"

"Ain't nothin' wr…"

"Don't lie, tell me."

"Jus' my back… i's a little sore from fallin' down them steps... had worse, jus' gettin' old, like I tol' ya. Don't need no sympathy…"

"You'll get none," said Beth firmly, "you brought it on yourself. But I'd better have a look."

Merle looked distinctly unhappy at that, and his grip loosened.

"I tol' ya I'm fine."

"Then let me see…"

"No."

"Merle…"

"Dammit, _no_!" he replied sharply, turning away.

"Why?!"

"_Fuck_, Beth, ya know what's there! It ain't pretty, an' I don't wan' ya seein' shit like that!"

"But I _want_ to see them."

"No, ya don't."

"I seen Daryl's…"

Merle's gaze snapped back to hers so fast she felt it like a blow.

"Wha' tha fuck yer mean ya seen Daryl's? When?"

"When he got injured, Daddy had him brought into our house, and I helped get bandages and things. I got a glimpse before I was thrown out."

"Oh…" Merle seemed slightly non-plussed as he turned away again, and Beth wondered if he might fleetingly have believed he had reason to be jealous of Daryl. This time it was she who snuck up behind him, and she rested her forehead between his shoulder blades, allowing her hot breath to warm his back.

"What do you think I'll see, Merle? Tell me." Merle said nothing, and after a while she spoke again. "I'm not frightened of them, or you. I won't think less of you, Merle. You can't hide them from me forever…"

"Blessed are they whose sins are covered..." he replied haltingly, and Beth rubbed his back comfortingly.

"Mmm," she agreed slowly, "and blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven. But they're not _your_ sins to cover; they're _his_. You know that, Merle, don't you?" He turned to face her, and though his expression was stoic, his eyes were shadowed.

"Then 'why is my pain perpetual, an' my wound incurable, which refuseth ta be healed?' It's 'cause they _are_ _my_ sin's, girlie, don't make no mistake about that. Mebbe I didn't deserve 'em when I got 'em… can't see no kid deservin' that… but I _earned_ 'em, Beth, believe that if ya believe nothin' else. I've earned every one over tha years."

She reached up, and cupped his hard face in her soft hands. "Then show me who you are, Merle."

"Beth…"

"Trust me… show me..."

Merle gave an irritated sigh, and turning away suddenly he yanked off his shirt as best he could, while Beth stood patiently with large, solemn eyes. When he reached for the hem of his tee, he slowed and turned back to her, his face unreadable, eyes studying her face.

"Look upon mine affliction an' my pain; an' forgive all my sins," he said dryly, as though he knew she wouldn't, and Beth had a strange, sad sense that Merle was saying goodbye to her. Then he looked away, squared his shoulders and pulled off the garment, standing in total silence as he let her take it all in.

…

Her eyes welled with tears, but she didn't cry, didn't gasp; instead she swallowed it down… down along with all the rage and hate and pain she felt on seeing the patchwork of scars that crossed his back. Silvered and white and pale pink, the twisted tissue overlapping and merging… on one shoulder it even looked as though someone had tried to carve a word…

…it was the work of _years_...

Added to them now were a few bloody grazes from the fall, but now she saw he had only spoken the truth when he said he'd had worse.

He was wrong about her though. She wasn't scared or disgusted by him, nor was her heart broken for him; no, it only cracked a little further, letting the feelings she had for him pour out and fill her up, overflowing, until they could no longer be contained.

She reached out to him.

Merle was still frozen, his spine so rigid Beth thought it might crack with tension. She touched him, ignoring the shudder that ran through him, studying his back intently as though the gentle passage of her hands could smooth away the marks on his flesh.

He allowed her exploration, but he was still stiff and unmoving, so she slipped her arms under his, reaching over his chest and hooking her hands on his shoulders. Now he could no longer escape her, she pressed her lips to his torn flesh. He gave a sharp intake of breath and made as if to move away, but she only tightened her grip. She brushed her mouth across the puckered lines, before switching to wet open mouthed kisses, allowing cool air to trace over wounds that must have once burned white hot with agony.

He trembled before giving a long exhale, the tension finally leaving his shoulders as his head dropped a little. "Beth," he muttered brokenly, "_Beth_…" His hand came up and clasped over one of hers, holding her against him.

"Shh…," she whispered, kissing each inch of marred skin until finally they just stood there, her body pressed close against his; heartbeats slow, breathing together, at some kind of peace.

…

Eventually, unwillingly, she said quietly, "I should go get something for those scratches." His hand tightened a little on hers in response.

"Don't bother, ain't nothin'," he murmured. Beth smiled and kissed a sliver of smooth skin on his shoulder blade before she regretfully pulled away.

"I don't want you to get an infection. You need someone to start taking care of you, Merle Dixon."

"Hmm," he grunted, but she thought he was secretly rather pleased as he dragged her into his arms and gave her a quick kiss on the mouth. "Don't be long."

She smiled at him and went to fetch one of the small first aid boxes they'd picked up on their travels. The scratches would only need ointment, but she wanted them cleaned first; the prison was a dirty place. She was so pleased and distracted by their new degree of intimacy, she didn't notice someone watch her and start to follow.

She made her way back to Merle to find him sitting on a bench, still bared to the waist, and as Beth came through the door it was wonderful to see his eyes light up when he saw her. She began to walk to towards him, a smile on her face, when she heard a shocked voice behind her.

"What the _hell_ is going on here?!"

Beth turned slowly, and her voice was as cold as the look she sent him.

"Isn't it obvious, Glenn? Merle and I were just about to have sex."

…

It was totally worth the embarrassment of saying 'sex' to Glenn just for the look on his face; shock and outrage and, to her annoyance, a hint of disgust. "_What_?!... you… you can't…"

Merle was tensed and he looked angry, so she carefully positioned herself between them.

"Can't what? Be serious? Oh, I'm very serious, Glenn," Beth continued with unnatural calm, though anyone who knew her well could see the angry tension in the lines of her body. Setting down the first aid box on a nearby table, she continued. "Please, don't let this little box of medical equipment fool you. I wouldn't want you to get the impression that I was treating Merle's injuries after your ridiculous fight! Oh no, this is merely a ruse so Merle and I can get up close and personal with some privacy…"

"God, Beth, fine! I'm sorry! Just… stop talking. It's sick!" he said, his face now a mask of disgust. Beth tried not to be angry. She knew Merle had beaten Glenn badly, had even thrown a walker at him in a fit of temper when he couldn't find out where Daryl was, but there was no need for that look on his face. Hadn't Daryl beaten Randall on the group's orders? Hadn't they then planned to hang him? They were not so far above Merle in her opinion; at least Merle was trying to be better, and he deserved his chance.

"Anyway, he started it," continued Glenn. "He was going to put the group in danger, your father in danger! He's an animal, Beth, you should stay away from him. I'm going to have to tell Herschel…"

"My father already knows I'm spending time with Merle, I have his blessing to do so, but please feel free. As to your behaviour, I've told Merle he was in the wrong, but you didn't exactly help the situation by confronting him. You must know by now Merle won't back down like that in front of other people. If you're going to be a leader you need to start working with people's differences."

"But he's…"

"I'm sorry, Glenn, I really need to put some ointment on Merle's cuts. If you have any, I suggest you ask Maggie to do the same for you. We don't want anyone getting ill right now; we'll need all the people we have in what's coming. _Including_ Merle."

Glenn stared hard at her, then at Merle. For once Merle didn't provoke him with one of his smirks, but instead returned the glare. Then Glenn shrugged, and nodded at Beth. "You be careful with him, watch him close." Beth nodded back, and he turned and walked away, muttering over his shoulder, "I hope you know what you're doing."

…

"Lil' chink prick," grumbled Merle angrily as she smeared the cream over the broken skin, "I oughta…"

"Shh… no you shouldn't and don't call him that. Let's not spoil today; just don't think about him." She finished and started to put the various bottles away, before feeling Merle's hand slip around her waist, and his lips press against her neck.

"Don't know 'bout that," he whispered, "kinda liked seein' ya all riled up like that, least when i's against somebody else."

Laughing a little, Beth replied, "Seems like I'm not the only one that's a little riled up, but I need to put this back first."

"Leave it," he said, sucking lightly on her neck. Beth moaned and reached back to cup his jaw, but eventually pulled away.

"I'd better put it back now. We don't want to be interrupted by someone looking for it."

"Fine, fine," he said resigned, dragging himself away. She was tempted to touch him, but she thought she might not get away again. When Beth did return, she did so quietly, hoping to surprise him.

She was lucky.

She walked in to find him, face relaxed and eyes closed, leaning against a wall and bathed in a little pool of warm sunlight that had somehow broken through the prison gloom. This time as she looked at him, worn by a hard life and hard time but still strong and indomitable, the rush of affection was coloured with lust.

Dropping back behind the door, she felt a rush of disbelief and nervous excitement at what she was about to do. Checking quickly back down the corridor, she silently took off her shirt, the vest beneath and, after a moment's hesitation, her bra as well. She shivered slightly at the cool air, but it was worth it. Moving forward quickly and quietly, she dropped her clothes on the floor.

Opening his eyes at the noise, Merle looked slightly stunned to find a half-naked Beth throwing her arms around his neck.

"Beth! Jesus, girlie, ya…," but Beth cut him off with a kiss, starting a little tentatively at first. He had initiated all their kisses until now, and she knew he liked to be in control of any situation. Still, she stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips softly to his, kissing him gently at first before flickering her tongue at the seam of his mouth, temping him to give her entry. Eventually he opened it and gave her the access she craved, and she enjoyed teasing a tongue as slick and sweet and dangerous as the man himself.

However, it wasn't in Merle to sacrifice full control; even as he let her take his mouth, he wrapped his arm around her and spun them round, trapping her between his body and the wall. The concrete was chilly against her back, but it just gave her an excuse to press herself harder into the warmth of his chest. As the kiss became more heated, she slid her hands up to run them through his hair, raking through the shorter bristles at the back before tousling the longer softer hair at the top. Merle moaned and dragged his head away and down her neck, until his roving hand reached up to cup her breast and squeeze it as he suckled the nipple.

"_Merle_…" she groaned, as he tugged at it with his teeth before letting it go, panting a little as he brushed his rough thumb over the aching bud.

"Shit, girlie, look at ya tits… so fuckin' perfect. Tha way they tip up at a man, all perky an' eager, beggin' fer his touch…"

"Your touch," she whimpered, "just yours…" and she pulled him back down to her breast. While he feasted there, Beth tried to pull her wits together enough to put her plan into action. Carefully she moved her hand lower to his belt. She'd just about pulled the strap from the buckle when his hand caught her wrist firmly.

"Girlie…" he said warningly.

"Don't tell me no…" she begged, pushing against his hold, "let me _touch_ you."

His grip slackened slightly, and she could see want and caution war on his face. "I don't…"

She slipped neatly out of his loose hold and rubbed firmly at the bulge in his pants. "Say _yes_, Merle," she whispered against his mouth, "_tell_ me _yes_…"

Merle gave an exasperated growl and kissed her hard, his hand slipping up to grasp her hair as he plundered her mouth before pressing his forehead to hers. "_Dammit_, girlie, _yes_," he muttered, "tha answer's always _yes_…"

Smirking at her victory, she nimbly undid his belt and pulled down his fly, before reaching into his pants and cupping him in her hand; Merle gave a pleased sounding rumble against her. He felt good in her hand, so hard and hot, but she was already past the limits of her experience now, so she proceeded to rub him rather uncertainly.

"Ya alright, girlie…?" he rasped, voice a little unsteady.

"I'm just… I don't want to hurt you…"

Merle half groaned as he chuckled, "Ya ain't gonna hurt me, angel… lemme jus'…" and he reached down and helped her move his boxers so he was fully exposed. Beth held him, admired him, studying the thick shaft and angry head… but she was not without certain sense of trepidation. He seemed so large in her small hand. How would he ever fit inside her? Even his finger had felt…

"Beth, ya don't have ta do nothin' ya don't want…" he said, picking up on her nervousness, but she detected the faint trace of regret in his strained voice, and she wouldn't let him down.

"I like seeing my hand on you," she said simply, looking into his eyes, "you feel like velvet…" Somehow his eyes seemed to darken even as he looked at her. "Merle, show me how to make you feel _good_…"

Holding her gaze, Merle placed his hand over her own, helping her grip him more firmly before setting her a steady twisting rhythm as she stroked him. Beth began to work him then, feeling the soft slide of his skin beneath her palm. He kept his eyes on her face as long as he could but eventually they flickered shut, his breathing becoming a shallow rasp while his face went slack with pleasure. He removed his hand from hers and placed it on the wall by her head, using it instead to support his sagging form.

Beth loved watching him, seeing the slight tremors that went through him as she brushed her thumb over the tip, spreading the liquid there over him, and he began to thrust slightly into her hand in time with her movements. He was so strong in comparison to her fragile frame, and yet now so vulnerable to her; she thrilled to feel the pulse of his blood in her hand. She remembered once when her father had taken her to the zoo as a child, and she seen the tigers prowling in their cages… how the temptation to rub her face into their soft looking fur had almost overridden her fear of their sharp teeth and claws. Now she had a tiger of her own; his back striped and red in tooth and claw… but all hers… all hers…

As her hand moved on him, he thrust as little more urgently, and her fingers brushed his balls. He gasped and jolted a little, his head falling back slightly, and Beth smiled at him. "You have to _tell_ me what you like, remember…?" she said softly, as she dropped her other hand from his chest to delicately cup and caress their heavy weight, ever mindful of hurting him.

"Beth, _Jesus_…" he gasped, thrusting harder now, and Beth kissed his chin gently.

"Shh, don't blaspheme…" She moved forward into him, so on each thrust his throbbing head could brush the soft skin of her naked belly.

"_Fuck_," Merle choked out instead.

"Better…," she smirked, loving how much pleasure she could give him.

"Girlie, I'm gonna… I _can't_…"

"Then don't. I want you to, Merle," she whispered to him, "I want to... I _want_ to see you come. I want to know how you feel on my skin…"

It was enough to send him moaning and shuddering over the edge, and she watched with an innocent's surprise as he came over her hand, splashing warmly onto her belly and breasts. She continued to milk him until he stayed her with a shaky hand, the sensation clearly becoming too much.

"Fuck, Beth, that was… ya were…" he broke off in wonderment as she trailed a finger through some of the fluid that covered her breasts and put her finger in her mouth. It wasn't as bad as she had heard; just odd, salty with a strange consistency she couldn't identify. She dipped her finger back for another sample, more from curiosity than anything, but it seemed Merle could take no more and pulled her roughly to him, kissing her thoroughly, ignoring the fact he was smearing his cum over both of them, that he must be able to taste himself in her mouth.

He kissed her until she was breathless, and his own breathing was heavy when they broke apart. He dropped his hand to the fly of her own jeans, but she stopped him. "No, that was all for you. You don't need to."

"Sure I do. An' I wanna…"

"I know, but we should get back," she kissed him, "but… it was good, wasn't it?"

"Tha best, girlie," he murmured, holding her tightly, "tha fuckin' best."

…

Merle sacrificed his tee to clean her tenderly before roughly wiping himself, and once they'd dressed she explored her new found confidence by stealing another kiss from him. He smirked. "Can't get enough a me now, huh?"

Beth grinned. "Never could."

This time they returned together, though they kept a little distance for appearances sake. As it turned out, once they got back to the central room there was only Glenn there, accompanied by Maggie. Antagonised by Glenn's sullen look, and feeling wicked with delicious secrets, Beth turned to Merle and gave him an exaggerated wink.

"Same time tomorrow, big boy?"

Merle grinned as he realised what she was doing.

"Ya know it, darlin'," he replied smugly, looking directly at Glenn before heading for the exit. "An' wear somethin' pretty fer me, ya hear?" he called over his shoulder as he left.

Beth laughed and went through to the kitchen area, but not before she heard her sister's bemused voice behind her.

"Uh… Glenn, what on earth was all _that _about?"

…

I know, I'm sorry they still haven't had sex, despite it being a consummation devoutly to be wished, but I have to build up to the full on Meth experience. Anyway, I hope you still enjoyed and reviews are as always so very, very welcome.

For those of you awaiting another chapter of Weeds, in the next few days I promise. I just need to make it through tonight (or tomorrow for me, since I'm in the UK). I think some of you may know why.


	5. Chapter 5

_This is very late. I know, I suck. I can only say that with all the superb Meth fic there is about now, I had a crisis of confidence about this and had to be encouraged to produce the next chapter. I'm very sorry._

**Chapter Five**

It was only a few hours since they parted, but even so Beth couldn't stop herself watching him quietly over the freshly scrubbed, if not exactly washed, laundry; it was hard to say clothes had been washed when all you could do was run a brush over the worst stains in a bowl of soapy water. Carol was by her side, scrubbing her own allocation of the dirty rags they had left. The older woman worked diligently, never looking up, never complaining, which meant Beth could sneak the odd covert glance at Merle. He stood by the table on which they had laid out their assorted weaponry; he and Carl were apparently taking the opportunity to check out some of the more exotic looking pieces.

Eventually Merle stood up and walked out into the yard, most likely to do one of his patrols. Officially Glen and Maggie were on watch, but it seemed Merle didn't trust them much, since he often went out on his own reconnaissance when they were out on duty. Perhaps he didn't trust them to do the job properly, she mused, just as Carl admired a particularly dangerous-looking rifle... or perhaps he just wanted to piss Glenn off by acting as chaperone. She smiled a little to herself before turning back to her chores; yes, irritating Glenn sounded a far more likely motive for her mischievous man…

"He'll be a fine man one day."

Startled, Beth looked round at Carol's knowing gaze. Had it been that obvious?

"I… I think he's a fine man now…" she ventured, wanting to defend him but wary of negating Carol's new found goodwill towards Merle with undeserved hostility.

"Oh, I think he's a little young now, but in a couple of years, who knows…?" Carol smirked, further dismaying a bewildered Beth by winking at her, before starting on a fresh t-shirt. For a few moments Beth wondered what on earth Carol could be thinking, before she realised the older woman's mistake and greeted the idea with the disdain typical of a teenage girl.

Good Lord, _Carl_? But… he was _just_ a _boy_!

Mistaking her stunned silence for discomfort, Carol added quickly, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. I won't say anything."

"Oh… no, it's… um…" Beth started, uncertain of what to say; it was unfair to tell anyone, even Carol, of what was going on without first discussing it with Merle. However, she decided to take the opportunity to ask Carol something that had been preoccupying her lately. "Carol… may I ask you a personal question?"

Carol blinked a little, but nodded.

"How do you know when you're in love? I mean, when it's more than just… you know, really caring about someone?"

Carols lips pursed as though she was trying not to laugh, and her blue eyes twinkled unnervingly. However, when she spoke her tone was kind and distinctly maternal. "Well, you're a little young to understand this now…"

Beth was surprised to find herself angered by Carol's words; she could see where this was going. Yes, she was _young_, but she wasn't a child… she was a woman. However, she managed to keep her face sufficiently neutral for Carol not to notice. She just hoped there wasn't a 'birds and the bees talk' heading in her direction…

"… but, when you're older, one day you'll meet a good, decent man and he'll treat you real well, make feel good about yourself, maybe he'll make you laugh, and… and … well, you'll just want to be with him and you'll know."

"Okay, I see. Thanks," Beth replied quietly, and Carol smiled, clearly thinking she had helped. Next to her, Beth's hands worked on the clothes mechanically while her mind spun in frustrated confusion. Was that _really_ what Carol though love was? Surely not. It sounded so… so soulless, so bloodless, so _empty_!

It didn't even come _close_ to what she felt for Merle.

Even just thinking of him caused a warm flush of affection and desire to flow over her body, and her fingers clenched on the laundry as she relived it in her mind…the hard, velvety feel of him in her hand; his harsh, desperate breaths; the musky scent of his arousal that still clung faintly to her body… even the memory of that needful expression, the one that had been alarmingly alien to her at first… dark and lustful, turning his sky eyes midnight blue… even that she now understood, and she welcomed it… wanted it even. Unfortunately, this line of thought only reminded her of the unsatisfied desire that still pooled at her core. Hot and aching, she pressed her thighs together, briefly regretting that she'd had the strength to stop Merle from slipping his hand between her legs and just…just…

Carol looked up as Beth cleared her throat, but since she carefully kept her eyes fixed on her work Carol soon turned back to hers.

Dear Lord, the effect that man had on her even when he wasn't in the room, even while she was scrubbing Glenn's pants! Did Merle make her feel good about herself?! She almost scoffed out loud. Every encounter with him left her feeling confident, desirable… strong even; no longer a fragile, innocent girl who simply looked for the best in people but a woman, a woman who could see the good and evil in a man and embrace both.

But there was so much more knowing Merle had revealed about herself, and she was forced to acknowledge not all of it was good. Beth understood from the Bible and her parents that love was pure; simple, unselfish, uncomplicated, nurturing, always wanting the best for the beloved… and it had started that way. Beth had felt exactly that when she told Merle she wanted to be kind to him; she _did_ want to be kind to him; she had known at that moment that she cared deeply for the man and would never want to hurt him, would only ever want the best for him. The physical side of their relationship had been so wonderful, she had never questioned it as anything other than a natural expression of such a feeling.

Beth had also wanted others to give Merle the same chance she had. More than anything, she wanted to watch the others discover the best in him, to see revealed the man she had uncovered underneath all the hostility and selfishness and irritating behaviour. She had seen the truth of Merle Dixon, and she wanted to share it; to preach her passionate belief in his goodness until the others were converted by the sheer force of her faith.

She still wanted all those things for him, truly she did, but that innocent, giving spirit had changed.

Beth knew to the very second it had done so, when that loving friendship shaded so strongly with desire had subtly shifted to something more complicated, more fragile, more beautiful. It was the moment when they stood in that empty, cold little room, his soul as naked and bared to her as his back, and she had seen not his scars, but his response to her acceptance of them.

The weary resolve with which he waited for certain rejection… his shocked disbelief that she could ever accept them, followed by the creeping, tentative hope that she would… and finally his broken acknowledgement of her ability to embrace them and the man who had so long borne them, worn them as a badge of shame. For all the ugliness that had led to it, that moment of closeness had been the most exquisite of her life, and it was because she had shared it with Merle. He would always be part of her now; she could no more pull him out of her heart than she could tear it from her own body.

But she no longer felt the simple love she had been raised to believe in; not only was she hungry for more such moments with him but, worse, she wanted to be the first person Merle turned to for kindness, for comfort, for refuge. She still wanted for others to see that good in him, of course she did, but now she wanted to keep some of that softness a secret for herself. Worst of all, while she wanted Merle to be good, she didn't want him to be… well, _too_ good.

Then he wouldn't be _her_ Merle anymore.

But how did he feel about her? And did it matter? She closed her eyes, frowning in deep thought.

It really didn't, she decided. She knew Merle cared; it might not be love, but he did care. She also knew, with a sad flash of newly discovered maturity, that, damaged as he was, he might never be able to truly feel the same; she would need to make her peace with that, though it was some consolation that she was not so shallow that her love depended on reciprocation. Still, she couldn't help feeling God would not have brought them together, made them fit together so well, if there was not the chance of happiness for them; she knew that in her soul. She just had keep faith, in God… and now in Merle.

"Beth! Are you alright?!" Carols words jolted her back to reality, and she realised she had just been standing there with her eyes shut. No wonder Carol looked worried.

"I'm fine… I was just…" but no words came. Carol gave her a sweet smile, though there was still some concern in her eyes.

"I forget how long you've been cooped up indoors. You don't get outside as much as the others, what with the baby. Why don't you take her and go get some fresh air? She's pretty settled, I don't think she'll make too much noise."

"Thanks Carol, it would be nice to get some sun."

Plus of course, Merle was prowling about somewhere outside; maybe she could spend a little time with him?

…

She walked out into the sunshine, Judith a warm, wriggling lump in her arms.

"Shall we go have a little walk, Judy?" she cooed at the little girl. Taking a rather bubbly gurgle for yes, she began to walk around the compound casually, just trying to soak up the sun and the breeze, not going too near the fences in case the smell of walkers started Judy crying and attracted more. She eventually came to the concrete area they treated as a car park, where a few of the vehicles they'd brought back were kept. Most were cars that had been retained for future use, but there were a few larger vehicles that had been brought back in order to drain their tanks of fuel. It would have taken too long and been too dangerous to do it by the side of the road; better to waste some fuel getting it to the safety of the prison.

She was startled when she saw a boot sticking out the back of one of the small trucks. Carefully, one hand slipping a little awkwardly to rest on her gun, she peered round the side of the flatbed to find Merle, propped up on some packing crates that had been left in the back.

He was leaning against them, resting his good arm along the side of the truck. She hadn't noticed before, but in the light she could see the hair on his outstretched forearm had been bleached to golden softness by a lifetime spent outdoors. His face and what she could see of his chest had a slight sheen of sweat, while a piece of green foxtail hung from his mouth, making him the image of a clichéd hick. Beth stifled a giggle. He looked like he was asleep, and she hesitated to wake him; she didn't want to disturb him if he was tired… on the other hand, she felt the pull of his presence and was certainly not adverse to spending a little time with him out in the daylight…

"Tha flowers appear on tha earth; tha time of tha singing a birds is come…" he drawled suddenly, eyes still not opening.

"A lovely quote, but I also remember the next part, and you're lucky I don't take it personally," she said in mock reproof, and Merle grinned wickedly. "How did you know it was me anyway?" The grin widened, and one bright blue eye opened, squinting in the sunlight.

"Heard that there kid gurglin' away, an' ya tha one always gets left wit' it." He patted the truck floor with his prosthetic, the metal ringing on metal like a bell, summoning her to join him. "C'mon up here, darlin', keep me warm."

The fact that the late afternoon sun was shining full on the truck suggested this was not really necessary, but Beth was willing to let it slide. "Take Judy for me then, I can't get up holding her."

He huffed a little but leaned forward and scooped the baby up in one massive arm, pulling her into his lap. "There ya go again kid, causin' trouble fer folk, ain't that right?"

As Beth hoisted herself up into the truck, she was astonished to see him tickle the baby under her chin, causing her to squeal delightedly. She scooted over and wedged herself under his arm, pressing closely into his side to watch as he let Judy grasp his finger.

"I didn't know you were good with babies," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his rough cheek. He hummed a little laugh.

"Hell, who'd ya think looked after Darleena when he was wailin' an' shittin' all over tha place? Certainly weren't our Ma."

She slid one arm gently round his stomach, knowing her sympathy would be better accepted without words. Merle looked up at her, a smirk firmly back in place, and ran his eyes over her face. They flicked up and narrowed slightly, and suddenly his lips were at her ear. "Forgot ta mention, there's a toll fer sittin' up in this truck…."

Beth drew in a shallow breath; she had a feeling she wanted to pay the toll. "Oh, yes…?"

"Uh huh…see, ta sit in tha truck, ya got ta let ya hair down…," he whispered before capturing the lobe of her ear, sucking on it hard enough to make her gasp, "Ya gonna let it down fer me, girlie?"

Two could play at this game. She slid her hand up slowly from his stomach, over his chest to his throat, before slipping it round to graze her nails up into the short hairs at the base of his scalp; he pulled his head back to look at her and she saw his eyes darken. "Did _you_ pay the toll?" she teased.

"Sure did," he responded, his voice deeper somehow, "ya just can't' tell wit' mine…"

Beth then reached back and pulled at the band without hesitation, the hair falling heavily over one shoulder so Merle could see it glinting in the sun. To her surprise, Merle dropped his head further and pressed his face into the silk covered shoulder, nuzzling the softness for a few moments before pulling back.

"Guess ya can stay then," he said gruffly, but Beth could see the smile in his eyes and gave him a peck on the lips before snuggling into his shoulder. His arm dropped around her waist and the sun-warmed metal of the covering rested along her jean clad thigh.

"I thought you'd gone to patrol the fence," she eventually murmured into the side of his chest. The walkers' moans couldn't be heard from here, and the only scents she could detect were the sweat and musk of Merle's skin and the wood of the packing crates. The heaviness of the late afternoon heat seemed to press down on her, and made anything other than a whisper sound harsh and intrusive.

"Mmm? Nah, jus' runnin' back-up on ya sister an' Kim Jong Il over there."

She prodded his stomach gently in reproof at the name, and he pretended to be winded while tugging her closer.

"You don't need to, you know. Maggie's far better with a gun than I am, and Glenn always helped keep us safe."

"Yeah, well," sniffed Merle dismissively, "all gotta help keep tha place safe. Anyway, I figured… since I… since she's ya sister an' all…" he tailed off, and Beth hugged him tightly as she realised what he wasn't saying.

"Thank you, Merle," she said softly, before they lapsed into silence again. Beth felt tired, but she was so warm and comfortable and safe. It almost felt like the world hadn't changed…

"I used to go to sleep in the sun, in the summer…" she whispered.

Merle blinked and hummed a little at the seemingly random statement, but Beth continued.

"…I used to go outside and just lie down on the grass and look up into the sky. I expect lots of girls do it, maybe, but I thought at the time it was only me, that I was special somehow… Daddy wouldn't let me do it in the middle of the day of course, plus there was school, but…in the afternoons… sometimes in the mornings, I'd lie back and spread out my hair on the grass… sometimes it would be cool and damp on my back… other times so dry and soft, the heat seemed to turn it to powder…," she watched lazily as Merle reached across and ran the back of his fingers down the river of her hair, "…I'd look up and see this sky, blue without end…," she could hear her own voice becoming drowsy, "…it can't always have been blue I suppose, but that's the way I remember it now, always falling asleep looking up into this perfect blue…" Her eyelids were getting heavy…

"Ya wanna sleep here fer a bit, I'll keep watch…" he said in a low voice.

"Judy…?"

"I'll look after her."

"Okay," Beth replied softly, wriggling and wrapping herself around Merle so she was comfortably cushioned on him as much as possible. She thought she heard a faint huff of amusement from him, and she looked up, struggling against the heaviness of her eyelids. "Hmm… I thought that earlier today…" she mumbled, and at his looked of enquiry she added, "You've got summer sky eyes…"

Those eyes blinked a little in surprise, before warming as a strange little smile crossed his face. "Tha's enough talkin'. Go ta sleep now, angel."

…

Beth was young and resilient, and after less than an hour she awoke feeling refreshed and content. She cracked an eye and saw the afternoon was thinking of turning to dusk, a slight purple haze encroaching on what little she could see of the horizon. Merle had apparently kept Judy quiet by teasing her with the foxtail; it was quite sweet to watch. Again and again the little girl would excitedly reach for the fuzzy green plant head as Merle twitched it away and then, when he would eventually let her catch it, her tiny face would look shocked and outraged that it wasn't quite as soft as it looked. Merle still had a little smile on his face and, although it would never do to tell him such a thing, Beth privately thought he looked adorable.

"This could be us one day," she said softly, and at his inquisitive look, she continued, "us, a baby of our own. Not now, of course… I don't want you to feel… you know… but, maybe one day, if we survive… a family. I always wanted children."

Merle looked at her hard, blue eyes a little cooler, a little sadder, and shook his head.

"Ain't gonna be wit' me, girlie," he said flatly, "I ain't right fer bein' a daddy."

Beth watched for a moment as he drew the grass away from Judy, and instead began to tap it against the side of the truck, as though annoyed in some way. Judy gave a frustrated burble but seemed to be of a mind to settle down for a nap. Beth stroked one of her tiny hands with the tip of a finger.

"I don't see why you would be worse than most other people," she said calmly, trying to draw him out, "I've just seen how good you are with Judy, and it sounds like you all but raised Daryl yourself, and he's a good man."

Merle grunted. "I's different. I _had_ ta help Darleena, someone had ta make sure he got food an' shit. An' I was young then, softer… didn't have so much life under my belt. Done a lot a fucked up shit since."

This time, Beth decided to push it; she didn't want Merle to always be putting himself down, not on things like this. She chose her next words carefully.

"Then we won't have any, if you don't like kids."

Merle immediately looked up, and his eyes expressed the pain and anger he felt.

"I ain't sayin' I don't like 'em! Jus' sayin' I ain't the man ta have 'em wit'."

Beth curled herself into him, pressing her face into his neck as though upset.

"You don't think we'd make good parents? That I'd be a bad mother?" she whispered, inflecting her voice with a little hurt sadness.

"Wha'?! No! Where tha fuck d'ya get…?" he sighed angrily as he pulled her more into his arms, jostling an indignant baby who had been on the verge of going to sleep. She gave a little wail, as if not sure if it was worth fussing.

"Oh no, Judy! Don't cry!" Beth cajoled her gently, picking her up and rocking her a little. Judy gave another uncertain wail; she liked the attention, but on the other hand she was sleepy…

"Here," said Merle, "tilt her head ta me."

Beth shifted a little, and watched as Merle pulled the baby's hat back a little and began to stroke one large finger gently down Judy's scalp, going from the centre of her hairline and back to the crown of her head. He repeated the motion in a steady rhythm, and Beth watched as her little face went from being scrunched up and pugnacious to being sweet and sleeping.

"Used ta work on Daryl," Merle said simply, and Beth could feel his eyes on her as she looked down into the baby's face. "Here," he added, pulling down a small crate from behind him, "put her in that. Be better'n that damn office folder tha Mouse put her in; least she's got room ta fuckin' grow in that." He held it in his lap as she carefully placed the baby inside, before leaning across and steadily placing it one handed on the other side of her. She had a few seconds to admire his ingenuity and strength before she was being pulled into his lap with the words, "Now, we're gonna have ourselves a lil' talk, girlie…"

"Yes, Merle," she said meekly, while at the same time winding her arms tenderly around his neck.

"Hmm," he said, eying her innocent look, half suspicious and half amused, "one day them big blue eyes ain't gonna save ya. Now listen ta me, darlin', this ain't about yer bein' a bad mother. Hell, it'd take a lot fer any woman ta be worse than mine, an' I'm still here…"

"So you think I'd be a good mother?" she said hopefully, planting a few butterfly soft kisses on his prickly neck and firm jaw.

"You'd be the best, girlie," he said, a little bit of a growl entering his voice as she pressed the last kiss into the hollow of his throat, her tongue flicking out slightly. "Any baby'd be lucky ta have ya fer a ma; being held in them soft arms…," he caressed her arm and kissed the crook of her elbow, "…lookin' up at that angel face a yers…," he kissed her softly, while his hand slipped between them and delicately brushed the sensitive peak of a breast, "…goin' ta sleep with tha sweet taste a ya on their lil' tongues…"

"Merle," she whispered, entranced by the way he saw her... but he didn't stop, a touch of sadness entering his voice instead.

"…An' wha' would they have fer a pa? Wha' would they see when they looked up at me? A thief? A junkie? A killer? All a tha above, girlie," he said, exhaling sharply, "all a tha above. I'd taint 'em."

Beth suddenly understood his true fear.

"You think your child would be bad _because _it's yours? Because of your past?"

Merle said nothing, but his eyes slid away from her to gaze on the gathering dusk.

Beth wanted to cry for him, but she couldn't let herself; it would be the worst thing she could do right now. Instead she wrapped her arms more tightly round his neck and asked, "Merle, do you think I'm bad?"

His eyes snapped back ta hers. "'Course ya ain't! Why'd ya ask that?"

"My father was an addict," she said simply.

"_Hershel?!"_ She nodded at his shocked expression.

"And a thief."

"Tha _farmer_? Yer shittin' me."

"His father, my grandfather, he was mean. Real _mean_; my grandmother died giving birth, so she wasn't around to stop him beating my Daddy so bad he ran away at fifteen. Had to steal $68 dollars from his daddy to do it, too. He remembered that exactly. Daddy told me once that aside from that money, all he ever took from home was the Good Book and a bad habit."

"Jesus!" Merle looked stunned, but she could see the thoughts ticking over in his mind. "Wha' was he inta?"

"He was an alcoholic. Started drinking at fifteen when he was out on the road, and never stopped until he met Maggie's mother; that was twenty years later. She made him straighten out because she thought he was worth it." She cupped his face in her hands and pressed a kiss to his mouth, before looking up and holding his gaze. "The way I think you're worth it."

Merle looked at her, his eyes cold and clear as crystal. "He ain't a killer though," he stated, as though defying her to disagree. Beth shook her head.

"No, he's not a killer, though this world will change that eventually… maybe for all of us…" She couldn't help but feel sad at the kill-or-be-killed future that lay ahead of her, but it would come to pass eventually. Beth knew she couldn't always expect others to carry the burden on their consciences for her.

"Ya ain't a killer," said Merle firmly, "it ain't in ya."

"Then I'll die," Beth said without anger, accepting the truth of her situation, "that or people I care about.

"I ain't gonna let that happen," Merle said fiercely, arms tightening uncomfortably round her, "Yer believe that!" He gripped her chin and tipped it up so she could look nowhere but his face; his expression was grim but his eyes burned strangely. "I'll do wha' it takes ta protect ya, Beth, whatever it takes; same as Darleena, do ya understan' me? Same as baby brother. I warn ya, yer ain't always gonna be happy abou' that, but tha's tha way it is now."

Beth couldn't imagine a situation where she wouldn't be happy with such a promise, made with such passion and sincerity, but she reached up and stroked his cheek, her fingers tracing the fine lines that radiated from his eyes onto his high cheekbones. His skin there felt so soft beneath her hand.

"Do you know how many?"

Merle's eyes flickered as he realised what she meant, and his expression became one of pain, but Beth kept stroking his face, holding his gaze… waiting.

"Sixteen," he muttered eventually.

"Tell me about them."

"Beth, don't…"

"I need to hear. Just tell me. Trust me, please."

And he did. She kept her eyes on his the whole time, even when they slid away at the pain or shame of a memory. He told her about each and every one; most were in self-defence when fighting other groups, but some just on the Governor's orders...

…the only word for them was executions.

People who were trouble, people the Governor wanted out of the way. Merle had been his trusted lieutenant, and such secret tasks had fallen to him. He had walked around Woodbury, watching the smiling, laughing people who thought they were so safe while they shook hands with death. Beth felt the tears in her eyes now, and this time she let them fall, but never breaking contact with his face, his eyes. Finally he reached the last one…

"…He was jus' a kid, younger 'n yerself, even. Cartjulio. Gov'nor thought i'was time fer me ta start trainin' him up when we wen' out fer Michonne. We'd lost most everyone else when she made a break inta wha' we called tha Red Zone. Had a high concentration a walkers, that place. I tol' tha kid ta let her go, that she weren't worth riskin' our lives fer. We'd just tell tha Gov'nor she was dead. But he wouldn't let it be, said he was gonna tell tha Gov'nor. I knew… I fuckin' _knew_ if tha kid tol' him she'd escaped, I'd lose his trust… more'n likely my life. I'd never find my brother then. So I shot him. Shot him in tha head an' left."

He stopped, and his head fell back as he took a deep breath, as though it had been some sort of relief to talk about it. Beth eventually spoke, her voice a little throaty from crying.

"How many people did the Governor kill?"

He shook his head. "I dunno."

"How many people did the men under you kill?" Merle frowned and shook his head again, confusion writ plain on his face. "How is it that you know exactly how many people you've killed, Merle? How is it you can describe every single one?" Merle continued to look at her, frowning.

"Merle, I not saying what you did was right, not at all. But I understand why you felt you had to do it. The world has become so much harder to live in without hurting people… even our group has killed people…" she took a breath of her own before starting again, "…and I think it was even harder for you to say no, wasn't it? You were left alone in this terrible world, and you're so used to having to fight for everything, what did you owe it? Then, suddenly, you had respect, position, safety… and the alternative was death. Most men would have made the same choice. So I can understand why you did it, even if I can't approve. And I know it hurt you to do it, or you wouldn't be able to tell me every single one…"

Merle shook his head, "I know ya trying. girlie, but I'm counted wit' them that go down inta tha pit: I am as a man that hath no strength…"

"Is your strength the strength of stones? Or is your flesh of brass?" she whispered in reply. "You're just a man, Merle…"

"Job," he muttered, identifying her reference, "Yeah, Job is right. 'His bones are full of tha sin of his youth, which shall lie down wit' him in tha dust.' Tha's a more fittin' epitaph for ol' Merle, darlin'.

"The Lord is good and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon him. But you need to believe you deserve mercy, Merle. We all do sometimes."

Merle said nothing, his eyes distant, and Beth was sad to feel she wasn't getting through to him. But perhaps it was too much to expect him to easily accept all the things that had passed between them today; she could only bring him so far in the little time they'd had together. Perhaps it was time to let the thoughts she had planted there take shape at the back of his mind, while he was distracted with something else… something he was comfortable with… something more familiar…

"I think I need some forgiveness… after today," she muttered, making her voice a little darker, and surreptitiously wiping off the traces of her tears by nuzzling into his shirt.

"Huh?" Merle grunted, looking surprised and confused, perhaps even a little guarded at the sudden turn of the conversation. "Wha' fer?"

"I'm afraid I haven't done my chores very well today," she said, running her lips along his jugular, "not at all. You see, I've been very… _distracted_." She captured the lobe of his ear in her mouth and sucked it hotly, just as he had done to her earlier.

"Ya… ya have?" he rasped. He looked so torn between following up her blatant invitation and sheer bewilderment as to how the conversation had ended up here, that Beth couldn't help but smile a little wickedly at him. She attempted to put a bit of a purr into her voice, and was quite pleased with the results.

"Oh _yes_," she smiled at him, "you see, I've been _very_ foolish…" Suddenly she twisted herself in his arms, making sure to grind her ass into his lap as she turned and straddled him, seating herself firmly over his groin. Merle's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and Beth was delighted; her confidence growing, she dared to gently catch his bottom lip between her teeth, tugging it slightly before releasing it.

"Beth, wha' are ya…!"

Confusion had still been apparent in his voice but she noted his hand had instinctively slid down to cup her buttock, so she rewarded this response by writhing a little on him, causing him to cut off his words with a little gasp.

"Hmm, _very_ foolish. You see, I did something earlier, something that really… really turned me on," she said, trying to maintain the front of boldness, "and even though a kind gentleman offered to… umm, help me out… I was stupid enough to think I could cope. But I can't, Merle. I can't cope, can't think…" She writhed on him again as she quoted, "My heart was hot within me, while I was musing the fire _burned_…"

"Yer tryin' ta distract me," he accused, narrow eyed, though it hardly sounded damning with the lustful growl that was in his voice.

"A little," she agreed, kissing the point of his chin, "but it's completely true." She pulled her head back and looked him in the eye. "Touch me," she dared him, "find out."

His eyes went molten at her words, and as his hand slid round her hip slowly to cup her heat through her jeans, he rumbled, "Ya sayin' yer wet fer me, girlie?"

"I've been wet all day," she said, half shocked at the words tumbling from her mouth; so quickly, so eagerly, without hesitation. "I'm dripping for you..."

There was a tense and heated silence as they held each others gaze, waiting for the next step. When Merle spoke, his voice was so thick with lust she could feel herself tightening involuntarily.

"Undo ya pants, girlie."

Beth slowly lowered her arms from around his neck and reached down, undoing the fly button by button, holding his gaze the whole time. When she was finished, she let her hands rest high on his thighs. Merle slid his hand up into her jeans and to her slight surprise, rather than reaching inside her panties he cupped the soft fabric instead, one probing finger exploring the dampness where her juices had permeated the fabric.

"Jesus, girlie… yer soaked," Merle muttered, half in wonder. Beth arched a little into his hand, feeling the heat and strength of his fingers so _close_, but not close enough to satisfy.

"Merle… please…"

Suddenly the hand was gone, and instead she was being dragged down so she lay on his chest. She looked up at him, eyes pleading for release. Merle smirked with far greater wickedness than she had ever achieved, and she moaned with desire.

"Uh-uh, girlie, I tol' ya one day them big blue eyes weren't gonna save ya. Now ya gonna learn 'bout tha bad man ya wit', jus' how cruel I can be." He lowered his head and breathed in the scent of her hair. "Yeah… see, I think ya gotta be punished fer distractin' me tha way ya did… it jus' weren't sportsmanlike, angel. So here's wha's gonna happen. I ain't gonna help ya out now… no, don't try lookin' a me like that, this is _punishment_, girlie… ya gonna hav' ta wait. Ya gonna keep those lil' panties a yers on, an' ya gonna keep thinkin' about all the things I done ta ya, all tha things I'm gonna do ta ya…"

Abruptly he ran his tongue wetly up her jugular, just as he had their first night together, and Beth whimpered as Merle hummed his delight at her taste.

"…then ya gonna come see me tonight, an' mebbe, _mebbe_… if them panties are wet enough, I'll help ya out. But I want 'em drenched, angel… I wanna be able ta lick ya off 'em, understan'?"

At his words all Beth could do was moan and clench her thighs together tightly; Merle gave a low chuckle as he noticed. "See, darlin'? Ya getting' tha idea already." He yanked her up and kissed her; a rough, bruising kiss that plundered her mouth and left her wanting more, before he swiftly released her and pushed her back on her heels.

"Ya best be gettin' inside, girlie," he drawled casually, "folk'll be wonderin' wha' ya up ta."

Legs trembling slightly, Beth slowly lowered herself down from the truck, and pulled the sleeping baby towards her. As she did so, she chanced a glance at Merle. At first, she was disappointed; he wasn't looking at her, instead staring away at the gathering dusk, his body draped over the crates again while his arm relaxed along the side of the truck once more.

However, after further study Beth allowed herself a small smirk before she walked away.

Merle's relaxed, almost indifferent pose would be a lot more convincing without the large bulge pressing against the front of his pants.

...

So I hope after all this delay you did enjoy that. If you didn't I can only apologise. If you did enjoy, do please leave a review, and remember to thank Green Owl and GhostWriter84, whose encouragement meant this chapter was posted.

Author's Note: For those too lazy to Google, the full line from The Song of Solomon that Merle quotes is 'The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.'


	6. Chapter 6

_Oh, you lovely people, what wonderful reviews... here, have an insanely, __**insanely**__ long chapter of filthy, filthy Meth. _

**Chapter Six**

Beth could barely taste her food. Not that there was much to taste; it was simple spaghetti with the sauce made from tomato soup, but Carol had watered the solitary can down to provide for the whole group, so it was fairly bland. However, it would have been rude as well as wasteful to leave it, so Beth forced it down, lingering over the meal as her mind dwelled on other things.

Even had she _wanted_ to disobey Merle's instructions, her head couldn't help but spin with thoughts of them together. Just the memory of being with Merle increased the slow burn of desire in Beth's gut, and the flow of arousal into her panties. However, thinking of what Merle _might_ do to her, what she _wanted_ him to do to her… her feelings on that astonished her even more.

Before, the spontaneity of their interactions had reduced Beth's in-the-moment thinking to simple concepts of want… need… _now_. Yet, abruptly encouraged to think of ways they could be together, she found fragments of long dormant memories stole from where they had lain hidden, waiting for their moment…

Beth remembered listening in the shower room, head ducked and cheeks burning, as the more experienced girls in her class talked amongst themselves of what they'd gotten up to with their boyfriends…

…or when she went to borrow clothes from Maggie's wardrobe and found instead some rather eye-opening women's magazines, that talked with startling frankness about pleasing your man and how to have him please you in return...

…Beth even revived a suppressed memory of the unfortunate time she'd walked into the stable and just as quickly walked out again, before her mind could fully process why Jesse the new farmhand had her sister bent over the saddle rack...

At the time, it had been incomprehensible to her how any woman could want to do more than… well, _the basics_ with a man. Her knowledge had narrowed her idea of intimacy to something… _well_, face to face and romantic, maybe looking each other in the eyes each time you were together. And then _only_ when you were married. She'd been so shocked by her sister's behaviour, she'd gone to find the contraceptive pills she'd seen hidden with the magazines and thrown them straight into the duck pond. Beth smiled when she remembered how furious Maggie had been, and how Beth had reacted by telling her what she was doing was wrong.

She chuckled to herself at how different she'd become in such a short time; the idea of Merle taking charge of her pleasure and dominating her in such a way made her think she really wouldn't mind having those contraceptive pills herself right about now.

Or the saddle rack.

It was true Merle had said he wasn't going to sleep with her, but Beth was determined his resolution wouldn't last too long. Apart from her own desire to express the trust she felt in him as intimately and as soon as possible, her youthful yearning was tainted by the thought that this might be her only chance to be fully a woman before death claimed her. Even without the more immediate threat of the Governor looming over her, she had to acknowledge that one day, eventually, her guard would slip and the dead would make her one of their own.

She hoped if that happened she'd have the courage to end it herself, rather than asking someone else to take on the terrible task. If not, she knew she could never, _never_ ask Merle; it would be too cruel. If he outlived her, as he no doubt would with his intelligence and innate toughness, she could not bear being added to the roll of lifeless faces that burdened him. It wasn't vanity now to acknowledge that she meant something to him; one of the few people who had believed in him or treated him with care and kindness. In turn he had rewarded her with a closeness that only Daryl could claim to share.

Beth also had to acknowledge that, despite the emptiness of such as promise in this new world, he had vowed to keep her safe, and she could see the earnestness in his eyes as he did so. To ask him to compound what he would see as failure by preventing her coming back…?

"Y'alright?"

Beth looked up startled to see Maggie looking down at her with bemused eyes. "Oh… I'm just tired."

Maggie nodded sympathetically, her beautiful complexion starting to show the pallid signs of poor diet and fatigue as she slid into the seat next to Beth. "Yeah. I think it's living on our nerves like this, you know? Can't live on adrenaline forever an' not crash out eventually."

"I don't suppose it will get any better while we wait for the Governor's attack," said Beth unhappily. "All the preparation in the world won't take our minds off what's coming."

Maggie's eyes narrowed as she read between the lines, and Beth tried to bear up under her sister's scrutiny. "You think we should have left?"

"Don't you?"

"It was Rick's decision," her sister said carefully, still studying Beth intently, "We won't find many places better than this, it's worth fighting for."

"But is it worth dying for?"

Maggie frowned, and her eyes became shaded in concern. "Used to be you were looking to die… I can't say I'm not glad that's changed, but we need to stand together now. Rick needs our support." She looked away, as though debating her next words before continuing in an undertone, "Glenn... he told me you've been hanging out with Merle a lot lately… has he been saying something to you?"

"Like what?"

"Stuff about Rick, or something… I don't know," Maggie averted her eyes from Beth's, "Something to get him your sympathy… get you on his side…."

"Merle hasn't discussed Rick with me," Beth answered honestly, "and he's told this group his opinions openly, even if we didn't want to hear it. But he'll do anything to keep Daryl safe…," she faltered, realising that she was now included alongside Daryl before continuing, "and If Daryl won't leave, Merle won't either."

"He might not want to leave, but I wouldn't put it past him to try and mess with us, undermine Rick's authority…" Maggie stopped in surprise as Beth gave a bitter laugh.

"_Merle_ undermine Rick's authority?" she whispered derisively, "Do you _really_ think Merle could do a better job of it than Rick's doing right now? You know as well as I do that he's only clinging to this prison because so many people died for it, and then there's Lori…"

"Shut up!" snapped Maggie, "You don't _know_, okay? You weren't there…," she cut herself off and shook her head, as though she could rid herself of a bad memory, "I'm sorry, it's just… that was a tough day." She ran a tired hand through her hair, before looking Beth in the eye. "Look, Dad's thought about this, he thinks this is the best place for us."

"_No_," said Beth, feeling tired herself that nobody seemed to ever be speaking the plain truth anymore, "What you mean is ever since… ever since the barn, he's lost faith in his judgement. He doesn't feel able to make those decisions anymore, so it's easier to leave them to Rick…"

"That's not fair, Beth…" Maggie began, a stricken look on her face.

"You're right, it's _not_ fair, but that doesn't mean it's not _true_. He shouldn't blame himself for having held on to hope, to faith…we all did… at least… well, I know I faltered, but… but we can't ignore the fact that he has entrusted our safety to a man who, however good, is hallucinating…"

"This isn't you, Beth," Maggie cut her off abruptly, standing up, "I don't know if you're just tired, or if Merle has said something, or what, but I don't want to hear any more of this." She started to walk away, before turning a darkly angry countenance back to her sister. "You need to stop being so damn sheltered and take a long, hard look at our options. Without this prison, we'd be back on the road again... trying to find shelter every night, not knowing where we'll find food. We've got a good thing here, and I won't let anyone, especially Merle Dixon, fuck it up!" With that she strode away.

Beth looked down at the table, fighting the tears that threatened to well up. She hardly ever fought seriously with Maggie… not that she regretted speaking the truth, but she couldn't help but feel bad that she had hurt her sister. She sighed and looked up, checking no one had heard them. It was nearly dark now, and those who didn't have first watch were probably already asleep or getting ready for bed. She smiled as Carol returned, having finished tidying up after their meal, and bade her a soft goodnight as she carried Judith up to her cell.

Hardly thinking, Beth decided to go for a quick wash in the shower room; perhaps if she felt cleaner she'd feel better, more refreshed. They had running water from the taps, apparently due to an underground aquifer Axel had mentioned, but there wasn't enough pressure to get it into the showers. They simply ran the water into the sinks and wiped themselves down with the thin and scratchy prison towels. As she walked down the gloomy corridor, Beth thought about how much she missed the fluffy white towels they'd had back...

She would have screamed if it wasn't for the hand over her mouth, as she was pulled back into a familiar warm, hard chest. The smell of man and tobacco teased her senses, and as the pressure eased she spun round in his arms and hugged him close.

"Ya disobeyin' me, girlie?" he rasped, clearly amused at how quickly she'd gone from screaming fright to embracing her apparent attacker.

"No... am I?" she asked, a little confused.

"Thought I tol' ya not ta take them panties off, an' here I catch ya sneakin' off ta tha shower room."

Beth grinned a little sheepishly at him, before allowing one of her fingers to glide up and trace the neckline of his vest, teasing a few stray curls of hair that escaped. "I wasn't sneaking, and I just forgot for a moment…"

"Forgot fer a moment," Merle grumbled as he ducked quickly to nibble sharply on her neck, "outta sight, outta mind, am I, angel?"

Beth gasped then giggled guiltily, "No, I… had a bit of an argument with Maggie, and I just wanted to be alone…"

Merle pulled back, eyes narrowed. "Ya okay?"

"Yes, it was silly really…"

"Do ya… do ya wanna talk 'bout it?" If it had been any other man, Beth would have said his voice sounded slightly nervous; she quickly buried her head into his chest so he couldn't see her desire to laugh.

"No, it's okay. And I promise I've been thinking about you right up until two minutes ago. In fact I was…umm," she peaked up coyly through her lashes, "I was thinking about a lot of stuff…"

"Stuff?" he rumbled, ducking his face into her neck, clearly interested. She nodded, enjoying the scrape of his stubble under her jaw.

"Uh-huh, you know… _stuff_… and things."

"Go on, girlie. I been waitin' half tha fuckin' day ta hear 'bout stuff an' things," he grinned, before he added, "Yer gonna tell me _everythin'_…"

It was more an order than a question, and he followed his words by sucking hard on her neck.

"Oh God, yes!" she whimpered, and the pressure was reduced to a gentle laving of her pulse point while he waited for her to speak. "I… when you talked earlier, about punishing me? I remembered, one time, accidentally catching Maggie…"

"Don't tell me too much, darlin'," whispered Merle wickedly, "I gotta look her an' Korea-town in tha eye a' breakfast tomorrow…"

Beth swatted playfully at his arm, "His name is Glenn! No, this was a few years ago, and I… I caught her in the stable with one of the hired hands, and he was…" she trailed off, uncertain of how to put it.

"Hmm?" he encouraged, the pressure slightly increasing on her neck again.

"He… oh, Merle, _yes_…" she said disjointedly as he did highly distracting things with his tongue, "…umm…he was being very… well, _dominant_. Taking charge and… after what you said…"

Merle's arms seemed to tighten slightly around her, and he pulled his head back to look down at her. His light eyes seemed to glint like an animals in the gloom, and when he spoke his voice was nothing but rasp. "Ya been thinkin' ya'd like ol' Merle ta _really_ take tha wheel wit' ya… that it, girlie?"

She looked down as she had a moment of doubt. It wasn't that Merle hadn't been in charge of what they'd done before, but this… this would be a different kind of surrender.

"I tol' ya before, I ain't rushin' ya," he said in softer voice, "ya never have ta do nothin' ya don' wan' wit'…"

"I want to!" she interrupted in a rush, looking up at him, "I want to. With you. I trust you. I'm sure." He watched her, searching her face for any further hint of doubt, and she gave a barely perceptible nob. Slowly, ever so slowly, she saw the most fiendish of grins begin to spread across his face…

…he suddenly dropped down, lifting her over one shoulder with seemingly no effort at all, and she let out a squeak of surprise. Her punishment was a light slap to the rump, followed by him firmly massaging her barely hurt buttock as he marched down the corridor. "No noise! Not 'til we get ta where we goin'. Ya behave yerself now, or I ain't gonna be respons'ble fer…"

But Beth had decided she wanted to play her part in this game too, and immediately provoked him by quickly slipping her slender hands under the waistband of his pants and boxers and grabbing a warm, hard buttock in each. Merle jumped so much he nearly dropped her.

"Beth! Fuck! Getcha hands outta my pants! Ya can't be playin' those kinda games wit' me tonight…I can't…." he broke off with a groan as she began to massage and squeeze his buttocks.

"Shit!" she heard him exclaim, before she was unceremoniously put down on unsteady feet against a wall. She barely had time to balance herself before she was dragged into a rough embrace as Merle took her mouth. This kiss was different, his desire for dominance clear as he mercilessly plundered her sweetness. Beth almost fancied she could taste irritation in it as well as barely restrained lust. It was everything she could have wanted in such a kiss, but she knew that tonight they both needed more… it wasn't elegant, but wrapping her arms strongly around his neck she jumped just enough to wrap her legs around his waist.

He staggered a little, slightly off-balanced, and his grip instinctively tightened on her before he began to move his arms as though to set her down... determined, Beth ground her hot core into Merle's hardness and was rewarded by him almost slamming her back into the wall as he growled and crushed his body into hers. Running her hands ecstatically over his bunched shoulders, Beth loved his barely leashed strength and thought she might come right then and there, his behaviour was so feral, so primal, so violently animalistic…

…it couldn't last. After dragging his lips from hers and giving her a deliciously sharp nip at the join of her neck and shoulder, Merle finally put her down and held her a little away from him, closing his eyes and taking a deep, cleansing breath before opening them again. She saw they were still darkened by lust, but his expression seemed slightly amused and exasperated.

"Jesus Christ, girl! I could've fuckin' hurt ya…" he started, but broke off when she shook her head silently, smiling trustingly up at him. Beth knew it would never hurt her like that, even if he didn't; the mere fact he worried about it told her as much. At her refusal to heed his warning, Merle shook his head and sighed. "Wha' ya fuckin' do ta me, angel…"

Obviously feeling it was a safer course of action, he took her hand this time and all but dragged her behind him, his long legs eagerly and easily covering the ground. Beth had to rather scamper behind him, and when they arrived at their special cell block she was flushed and panting. Quickly scouting about and checking it was secure he returned to stand close in front of her, his gaze now a little cautious and assessing.

Beth felt sure he was considering giving her one last chance to change her mind, and she was right.

Gradually Merle lifted his arm and wrapped his hand carefully and incredibly lightly round her throat, before increasing the pressure ever so _slightly_… just enough for Beth to know its strength, so she could feel the power his fingers contained… but he wasn't even close to hurting her, and she knew she could easily pull away. There was no threat to his unspoken gesture, just an opportunity for her to explore how much she trusted him, what her boundaries might be. For her first time, Beth was surprised to find that with him, she had none; her belief that Merle would never hurt her was absolute.

Merle's questioning and concerned gaze was watching every flicker of her eyes, waiting for her to say whether he would meet with acceptance or rejection. Watching him in return, Beth somehow felt a simple gesture such as his would say so much more than words in this moment.

Slowly, so he wouldn't react, she reached up and slid her hand along the back of his. Apart from the fact that it was large and callused and strong, Beth hadn't really studied his remaining hand before. Now, as she ran her fingertips along it, she noticed the back had the same slight smattering of golden hair as was on his arm, and the roughness of long healed scars marred his knuckles. His nails were short and lightly ridged, masculine but strangely neat for a man who did so much work outside. Beth was deeply sorry he had lost his other hand, but she knew she loved the one that remained all the more.

Gently, she pulled his hand away from her throat; Beth thought for a moment she saw the slightest flash of disappointment in his eyes, but she refused to look away as she lifted the hand to her mouth. Pulling it in, never taking her eyes from his, she planted a soft kiss in the centre of Merle's palm, her tongue flicking out a little to taste the salty sweetness. Under his fascinated and now slightly aroused gaze, Beth slid his hand back down to its original resting place around her neck, calmly arranging its grip before dropping her hands to her sides, leaving the next action up to him.

Merle seemed frozen for a moment. Then, with infinite care, he reached his hand up to her face and lightly brushed his toughened knuckles down the softness of her cheek; it was such a tender gesture from a man known for his hard edges that Beth felt an absurd desire to cry.

Abruptly he stepped away and the moment was gone. He folded his arms and Beth felt her mouth go a little dry, thinking of the muscles in his powerful arms and broad chest flexing under his shirt and vest. She must have looked like she intended to go to him, as the mood quickly changed.

"Stand there," he ordered sharply, and Beth instinctively froze at the authority in his voice. Sometimes it was easy to forget he'd been in the military. She waited as he stalked in front of her and looked her up and down, before he began to circle her in an assessing manner. She somehow knew she mustn't turn her head, and eventually he moved out of her eye line behind her. After a few tense moments, she felt a frisson of excitement as she was rewarded with the heat of his body at her back, close but not touching.

"So," rumbled Merle in her ear, "seems ta me lately ya been thinkin' that ya got tha drop on ol' Merle, that ya can lead him aroun' by tha nose… but I ain't no prize bull, girlie." He trailed a finger along the back of her neck, before slipping his fingers into her hair and pulling her head back, "I'm thinkin' ya gots ta be reminded who's in charge aroun' here."

"I… I don't have to take orders from you!" Beth goaded breathlessly. Merle paused, clearly slightly surprised at how easily she had embraced the game, before she heard the delighted wickedness in his voice again.

"Yep, ya still got that sass mouth on yer… ain't nothin' changed since that first night t'gether. Guess ya must need schoolin' real bad, missy," he whispered, his low voice dragging over her nerves, "Ya gonna let me school ya?" His hand released her hair and slid down body to her stomach, where he traced light circles on the sensitive skin beneath her naval.

Beth debated her answer for a few moments before she pulled away and faced him; drawing in a breath when she saw he was now naked to the waist, his broad chest revealed in all its heavily muscled glory. She stopped herself from reaching for him by propping a hand on her hip and dragging her eyes up to his, though her defiant look almost faltered when she looked into Merle's burning gaze.

"If you were _really_ going to take charge, Merle, you wouldn't need to ask permission, now would you?"

Merle eyes flared with a hungry light, and Beth felt a thrill of anticipation sear across her taut nerves as the most wolfish grin she'd ever seen crossed his face. Their eyes held for a moment, before Merle moved like lightening. Suddenly she was turned around and pushed harshly up against the cell bars, Merle's hot, hard body pressed full up against her back, caging her in.

"I _warned_ ya yer was here ta be punished, darlin'," her growled over her shocked gasp, "now yer only addin' ta yer sentence." Surprised at her own daring, Beth pushed her ass back into his groin, earning a quickly controlled but still noticeable jerk from Merle's hips.

"All I hear is talk," she sassed, though her voice was so thin with nervous excitement as to be almost nothing, "If you're going to punish me, get on and _do it_..."

She felt a shudder pass through his body, as he groaned hotly in her ear, "Oh girlie, girlie… there ain't gonna be no mercy fer ya tonight…"

Beth flicked him a heavy lidded glance over her shoulder. "Do your worst, Merle, I won't beg…."

The challenge hung in the silent air between them, before Merle spoke carefully, deliberately, and with dangerous control.

"Take ya clothes off, 'fore I cut 'em off."

He backed up, but only just enough, his arms resting on the bars over her head; she felt both strangely trapped and protected. Beth barely had room to pull off her jacket, t-shirt and bra and drop them to the floor with only minimal brushing against him; she was caught between the chill coming off the metal bars and the furnace that was Merle behind her. When she kicked off her boots and came to peel off her jeans, she had to shimmy them down since Merle allowed her no extra distance from him to remove them. As Beth finally hooked a thumb into her panties, Merle's hand caught her wrist instantly.

"Leave 'em," he rasped, his voice threatening. Again she felt that odd little thrill run over her skin at his control, so different from the tenderness of earlier that day. She felt the burning heat of Merle's body move closer again, as he pressed his whole muscular length against her fragile frame, pinning her against cool metal. Merle moved her captured hand up above her head and placed it on the bars; instinctively she looped her slender, pale fingers around the dull grey metal, and moved the other hand to join it.

"I will punish ya according ta tha fruit of yer doings," he quoted roughly, "an' I will kindle a fire in tha forest thereof, an' it shall devour all things roun' about it…"

Suddenly, he slid his prosthetic across her chest, the cool metal resting just above her breasts, and leant his upper body back slightly, pulling her with him; meanwhile, he pushed his hips into Beth's, forcing hers into the bars of the cell. The icy cold of the metal burned through her damp panties, and she felt one's curved smoothness press against her mound. As he relaxed the pressure, she instinctively pulled away from the chill, but Merle's hips only rocked her back into it and, this time, a bar slipped between the lips of her pussy and rubbed against her clit, shielded only by thin cotton.

She was so surprised by the brief flash of pleasure it gave her that she allowed Merle complete control as he pushed her forward again, and abruptly the coolness of the metal was offset by the arousal that began to flood through her. He rocked into her again and this time she let out a little whimper as she herself thrust a little against the bars. Close as they were, Beth felt as well as heard Merle's growl reverberate through his furred chest into her back, as he ground his hot, hardened body against her ass.

Her eyes fluttered shut in as she followed the steady rhythm her set for her, then unexpectedly his hand was on her aching breast. The feel of it, skin oddly cooled by holding the cell bars, was electric. Merle began by palming its tender weight, massaging the soft flesh before tweaking the nipple, pinching and rolling it between his fingers before suddenly pulling it out and away from her body, causing her to grunt deep in her throat at the sensation before his hand dropped back to her belly.

"Ya feelin' that fire, girlie? Ya feelin' it fer me?" Beth could only moan as an affirmative, but Merle understood. "Yeah, this remind ya a that night, hmm? Trapped, ol' Merle havin' his wicked way wit' ya? Feelin' my dick getting' hard against ya tight lil' ass, ya like that?"

Beth was halfway through a mumbled affirmative before she remembered the rules of the game she had instigated. "No," she hissed, fighting for control and grinding harder against him, "I think… you'll have to remind me…"

"No?" he questioned, his voice disbelieving, "No? Ya tellin' ol' Merle yer ain't been thinking 'bout him at all? You ain't been getting' yerself all worked up fer me, angel?"

"Mmm… yes… I mean, no…ahh…" she muttered, her brain barely able to maintain conversation while processing all the delightful sensations bringing her closer to the edge, causing Merle to chuckle darkly.

"Well, which is it, girlie?"

"I…," she tried to focus on something simpler… "I… won' t beg…"

She should have known Merle would embrace a challenge like that.

"Ya still won't beg, girlie? Is that wha' ya said?" She could hear the wicked smirk in Merle's voice as his spoke, never stopping the steady roll of his hips. "I think ya will, angel. I think a lil' more a this an' ya'll be beggin' ol' Merle ta take care of ya. In fact," he continued, his voice dark and his drawl more pronounced, "I'm thinkin' soon ya gonna realise that no matter how much we rub that sweet, hungry lil' pussy a yers 'gainst these bars, it ain't gonna make ya come…"

Beth eyes snapped open in mild horror, and somehow Merle knew.

"…oh no, lil' girl, oh no. Them prison bars too cold an' cruel ta take care o' a sweet lil' thing like yersel'. Ya need somethin' warm an' feelin' an' alive 'tween them pretty pink pussy lips, darlin'. Somethin' like me..."

Beth moaned at his words. Dear God, she needed Merle, she needed to come… she wanted Merle there between her legs, fucking her until she screamed…

"Merle…" she whispered…

"Yeah…?" Through the fog of desire she could make out the teasing smugness in his voice, and resolutely she pressed her lips together. She wouldn't beg…

She heard his chuckle at her pride, but it wasn't mocking, a fact confirmed by the low whisper in her ear of, "I'm impressed, girlie…"

…that was some satisfaction, she thought, even if it wasn't really the kind of satisfaction she was after right now…

"…but I still think I'd like ta hear ya beggin' ol Merle…" with that his hand moved back to her breast, teasing the very tip of her nipple by brushing his smooth palm against it, just lightly enough to make her crazy. She tried to arch towards his hand but the prosthetic high on her chest prevented her. Desperate to come, unable to find even the slightest relief, she whimpered in frustration…

Suddenly the arm was moving her, shifting her slightly so she was held against his shoulder; she could look up into his face now, and he was looking down her with a strange mixture of lust and annoyance and amusement and tenderness…

"Jus' beg me, Beth," he said softly, "make it easy on yerself… on us both… lemme be good ta ya…"

Beth's already fragile defences collapsed at that.

"Yes… touch me. Touch me please, Merle…" she begged, all pride gone, her eyes pleading with his. Once again his eyes burned with lust, though it was tempered by a residual tenderness, and though Beth couldn't believe it was possible she felt her own need increase.

"Yeah, ol' Merle'll help ya out," he whispered, "I'll always take care a ya, girlie…. can't resist them dove's eyes a yers, all big an' soft an' beggin'…"

Suddenly she was lifted up in his arms and carried across to a solitary mattress and pillow which had been dragged out of one of the cells and into a pool of moonlight from the windows; as she nuzzled into the warm fuzz of his chest she absently wondered if Merle had arranged it earlier.

He gently set her down on the mattress and gripping her chin he pulled her in for a kiss. It was gentler than the last one, but he still explored her mouth deeply, and her own hands slipped to the back of his head to hold him close as her tongue did some exploring of its own. When they finally broke apart they were both panting.

"Get on yer hands an' knees, girlie," he rasped, his voice deeper than she had ever heard it, "I wan' that sweet lil' ass in the air fer me."

She obeyed without question, and delighted in the feel of his hand running down over her spine from her shoulder to her rear. She wondered what Merle would do to her, expecially as he still hadn't removed her panties, which were now completely soaked. Her question was answered when she felt Merle suddenly press his face into her buttocks, breathing deeply.

"Mmm, girlie, tha's so fuckin' good… I can feel ya heat, smell tha' sweet smell a yers. A man could perfume his bed wit' this an' never wan' ta leave it…" Nimbly he slipped a finger under the edge of panties and pressed it up into the hot, wet tightness, causing her to groan in delight. "Shit!" he hissed. "Ya fuckin' swimmin' fer ol' Merle…"

"Merle, please, I need…"

"I know, darlin', I know." He removed his finger and pressed his face into her crotch again, breathing deeply. Beth could feel the warmth of his breath on her damp flesh.

She all but yelped when suddenly he stuck his tongue into her, taking the damp fabric with him and pushing it between her lips. Her mind exploded at the thought of him tonguing her through panties soaked and fragrant with her own juices. The friction on her clit caused by the slightly coarse fabric was maddening, and once more she found herself mewling as she reached a hand back and tried to rake her fingers through his curly hair. Then, pointing his tongue, he penetrated her a little with the cloth before leaving it there and batting at her clit once more.

"Oh God, Merle…" she moaned, long and low, needing everything he gave her and more. Abruptly he shifted her a little, so her ass was lifted slightly higher. Beth wondered vaguely what he could be thinking, and but she soon found out when his hand pulled apart her buttocks and he began to flicker his mischievous tongue over her cotton covered asshole.

"Ahh!" she yelped, cutting off her own cry with the pillow for fear it would be heard. It seemed so wrong… and yet the forbidden feeling of him fluttering over the sensitised ring of muscle, already coated with her fluids yet shielded by the soft fabric, was glorious. Suddenly he began prodding at it firmly, and she felt herself clench and relax, getting more drenched with every passing moment.

After a little of this exploration, Merle moved away and to her relief he finally lowered her panties, the prison air cool on her heated flesh. Since she was kneeling he could only get them as far as her knees, and she was waiting for something to happen when something soft and warm brushed her inner thigh. Bewildered, she dropped her head and looked between her legs… Merle's head was between her thighs, and he was licking the soaked fabric of the panties as they rested on the mattress.

"_Merle_…" she whispered, aroused by the thought that he was adhering to his earlier threat and licking her juices up. He looked up at her from between her legs, and smirked.

"Tol' ya I'd have ta check 'fore I helped ya out." She felt the delicate brush of his ear against her thigh as he lifted his head and buried his mouth in her wet curls.

She was so tender there now she almost screamed when Merle lightly brushed his tongue over her clit. When he began to trace around it, and the sharp edge of need cut through her, she lost strength in her arms and her face was permanently buried in the pillow. It was for the best, as with each deft stroke of Merle's tongue her moans and whimpers and gasps got louder and less restrained. Eventually, after a particularly loud cry, Merle pulled back a little, planting a soft kiss on her buttock and giving her a moment to try and regain a little control.

"How mine eyes ha' been enlightened, 'cause I tasted a lil' a this honey," he muttered, before running a rough hand gently over a buttock. "'Member ta be quiet angel, we don't wan' no interruptions…"

Beth muttered something in response, hardly aware of what she was saying in her need.

"Wha' was that, girlie?" he growled, licking teasingly at the crease of her thigh.

"I… what…?"

"Ya said somethin'…""

"Oh… um…" she tried to clear the fog from her brain, "Stolen waters are sweet, and…_oh, Merle!_" she gasped as he trailed the very tip of his tongue over her puckered hole; "…bread… bread eaten in secret is pleasant."

Merle gave one of those low, humming chuckles that she had come to love. "Can't argue wit' that, darlin', though I s'pect ya'd be sweet anyway." Then he pushed his head between her legs and began lapping rapidly at her clit, his hand gripping and massaging her ass in a way that had her moaning into the pillow again.

Already close to coming, she finally shattered when he slipped his thick finger just inside her again and sucked her clit into his mouth, her spasming pussy grinding into his face as she came one orgasm on top of the other… until finally she collapsed onto the mattress, spent and shaking but sated beyond all comprehension.

Beth lay on her side, drawing in deep breaths of air. She was covered in sweat and the air was cool in the uninhabited cell block, but soon she felt fabric cover her and Merle's warm body curl up behind her. She glanced down and saw he'd covered her with his shirt, which when unbuttoned was large enough to almost cover her completely.

"Thank you," she whispered to the silent man behind her, "for everything."

She could hear the smile in his voice as he answered, "Tol' ya, ain't no need ta be thankin' me. I ain't exactly puttin' myself through no hardship."

A large arm appeared and the prosthetic pressed up against her waist; for moment she thought she had made a mistake and she should have rolled over so she could feel his arm with his hand, then she realised she was thinking about it all wrong. The prosthetic was part of him now, part of the man he now was, the man she loved. Instead she wrapped her arms around it as best she could and snuggled back into his body, only to discover he still had a rock hard erection.

"Oh, Merle!" She felt so guilty, especially when he shifted it away from her, "why didn't you say? I was being so selfish…"

"Ya ain't selfish, an' I'm okay. I'll was jus' gonna handle it, I jus' wanted ta make sure ya was…mmph!"

Beth was kissing him, working her strong young arms around his neck and pressing her naked young body against his, writhing as she rolled on top him. His hand reached up, unable to resist stroking the curve of her waist for a moment before gently pushing her away so she was sat on his thighs. "Beth, I'm tryin'…"

"Stop it. Stop it now," said Beth firmly, and Merle raised his eyebrows in surprise as she moved to straddle his hips and prodded him in the chest. "I shouldn't get to have all the fun, Merle. I hate feeling you aren't allowed to enjoy this as much as me, and it's going to stop, you understand?"

"But, angel…"

"No. Stop worrying about everything, Merle. You're not going to get carried away and hurt me, because you _are_ a better man than you seem to think, and _I'm_ not going to be scared away by your _being_ a man, because I'm not as good a woman as you seem to think. From now on, we're both going to enjoy this stuff together…"

"An' things…"

"What?" she asked, momentarily thrown off her stride.

"We're gonna enjoy stuff an' _things_ together," he explained, smirking.

"Oh… well, yes, okay," she agreed, slightly perplexed before she remembered their earlier discussion. "Now, I'm…," she paused mid lecture, "Why are you laughing?"

Merle was laying there, arms crossed behind his head and an enormous grin of genuine amusement on his face. "I ain't laughin'. I'm jus' findin' it some real funny shit that I kinda like naked women sittin' on my wood an' _demandin'_ that I enjoy foolin' around wit' 'em."

Beth looked down at herself and realised that she was naked on top of Merle and essentially hectoring him to enjoy sex with her, despite the fact that she was sitting on some pretty strong evidence that he enjoyed it already. She looked back at him and they both started laughing. He pulled her down and she kept laughing, even as she enjoyed the steady rumbling of his chest beneath her. Eventually the moment passed and she turned her head back to him, planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Merle…?"

He sighed. "G'on then," he said, but at her sudden eager movement towards his belt he added warningly, "but jus' ya hands, girlie. An' don't argue 'cause I ain't got tha strength ta fight ya off otherwise…" be broke off at Beth's cocked eyebrow and the smirk that accompanied it, then grunted, "don't mean I won't _try_."

Beth gave her own mock sigh of disappointment, before she straddled his waist and gradually dragged herself down to his thighs.

"I said jus' hands," Merle growled, and Beth grinned.

"I didn't _touch_ it. _You've_ still got your pants on."

"Sounds like semantics to me," he grumbled, before he gasped as Beth traced his outline through the fabric with a single finger.

"Doesn't _feel_ like semantics to me," she said impishly, before slowly undoing his belt and tugging open his zipper. She heard Merle sigh slightly as the pressure on his dick eased.

"Lift for me," she said softly, and when Merle raised his hips he was clearly surprised when she boldly pulled down both his pants and his boxers together. She watched as his hard member bobbed up to greet her eagerly, like it wanted her touch. It was still worryingly large, but when she reached out and stroked it, like she might a pet, and Merle arched up a little into her hand, it wasn't quite so intimidating. She trailed her hand down, brushing through the faint treasure trail that faded onto his stomach, and whispered, "I want this like before, Merle. I do anything you don't like, or you want me to do something you _do_ like, then you tell me, okay?" Merle nodded, putting his arms back behind his head, clearly eager to feel her hand on him again.

She hadn't really had the time to explore him at leisure before, so she took the opportunity that night offered and studied him, running a delicate finger over the veins that lined his throbbing flesh, gently trailing her nails through the dark blonde hair peppered with grey that lightly surrounded him, encroaching only slightly onto his balls. Noticing something, she leaned in little closer, enjoying the musky fragrance as she studied the fine line that ran up the middle of his tightened sack. She ran the pad of her thumb down it, causing Merle to groan a little.

"Ya gonna make me beg too, darlin'?" he gasped, voice desperate and a little rueful.

Immediately Beth slid off him and moved up alongside him, cupping his coarse cheek in her hand. Slowly she lowered her face to his and ran her tongue wetly over his lips, pulling a little away before he could allow her entry for a kiss,

"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you," she quoted softly against his mouth, "and I'll _never_ make you beg, Merle, never… you only ever have to ask…" Beth kissed him this time, her tongue mating firmly with his, sealing the promise.

She moved back down and straddled his thighs again. Remembering her lessons from earlier, she took his dick in her warm hand and gripped it firmly but not too tightly, earning a moan of pleasure from Merle. She began the same steady twisting motion, noticing the change in his breathing, before she remembered that he also liked her to cup his balls; she reached forward and rolled them in her hand.

"Does that feel good, Merle?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, real good, girlie… don't stop." Merle was panting slightly.

Beth noticed the pre-cum beginning to leak from the swollen head, and gently smeared it with her thumb, spreading it down in a spiral until she was circling the edge of his purpling head. "Still, good, Merle?" she asked, though his closed eyes and the twitching muscles of his stomach suggested it was.

"So good, darlin', _so good_…" he murmured.

Beth looked at the slicked head and, on a spur of the moment decision, blew gently across the wet opening…

"Holy fuck!" Merle yelped, his hips jerking up so rapidly he nearly caught Beth in the eye.

"Merle?! I'm sorry! Are you okay?" asked a panicked Beth, removing her hands and hoping she hadn't hurt him.

"Fuck… fuck!" he muttered, his hand now down by his side and gripping he fabric of the mattress so tightly his knuckles were white. "I… I'm fine, darlin', ya jus'…" he heaved a deep breath and flung his arm over his eyes, "ya drive me fuckin' crazy, ya know?"

"In a good way?" she asked cautiously, her hands sliding up his warm thighs, watching in fascination as his unruly member twitched in anticipation.

"Too fuckin' good," he growled, almost sounding annoyed, "Shit, Beth, sometimes I think ya ferget ya ain't dealin' wit' no boy, ol' Merle's full grown…" he stopped and hissed as her hands returned to grip and fondle him firmly.

"I never forget it, Merle, I'm grateful to God everyday you're the man you are…" she moved forward with shocking speed so he was now held flat against her warm belly.

"Beth!" he exploded, almost sitting bolt upright.

"Shush," she said softly but decisively, "Arms behind your head. Only tell me stop if you don't like it…" her hands forming a loose cage pressing Merle against her skin, she started to move her body up and down; it was now his turn to play captive. Her soft flesh began to glide against his full length, and after a while Merle all but babbled as he tried not to thrust up with her.

"_God_… girlie… shit, _yes_…"

She continued to rock up against him, her soft and still damp mound slick against his balls, causing him to moan; he could no longer control himself, and she watched as his hips moved up with hers.

"Oh _fuck_… Jesus… Beth…"

"That's it, Merle," she whispered, feeling that strange sense of power and confidence flood through her again, "you're going to let it go for me, aren't you? You're going to come on me, just like before…"

Merle groaned, and she thought she heard a note of resistance in his tone.

"Look at me, Merle."

She stopped moving until his eyes cracked open a little, the bright blue gleam hazed by lust. Beth held his gaze and began to move again, not letting him look away.

"Did you think I was so innocent I'd be frightened, Merle? Disgusted perhaps? I wasn't, Merle. I _loved_ it…"

She ran her thumb back and forth across the leaking slit at the tip, watching as his eyes widened a little and his breathing hitched…

"…I loved seeing the look on your face, hearing you moan as you came. I loved seeing what I did to you. Most of all… most of all I loved walking around with the scent of you on me... the essence of you branded into my skin… like I was marked as yours..."

…he moaned, his eyes starting to close, and she felt the tell-tale jerk of his hips…

"…mark me again, Merle… please, make me yours…"

It was enough to have him erupting over her, moaning her name in a way that was barely coherent. His hand moving to grip her hip, his fingers digging almost painfully into the satiny flesh as he emptied himself over her breasts. When he was finally spent, he pulled her down to his side, where she rested her head on his shoulder and smiled at his flushed, panting face. After a moment, Merle grinned crookedly at her before his free arm reached for his discarded shirt and brought it up to clean her.

"Damn, girlie, ya gettin' me through a lot a shirts…" he joked, but she caught his wrist and returned the shirt to the floor.

"We can save Carol some laundry duty," she smiled shyly, her eyes dropping from his before returning, "I… remembered something else I read…" With that, she began to massage the pearly liquid into her smooth skin.

Merle's mouth dropped open and his eyes were fixed of the slow, circular drag of her fingers across one peaked breast. "Shit, girlie, tha stuff ya do… ya really are gonna be tha death a me one a these days…"

"No," she said, with the smile of a well-satisfied woman, "we'll only ever be good for each other." She watched lazily as he moved his hand to help her with her work, tracing his callused fingertips over the dips and valleys of her body, working in the musky fluid.

"Tha's wha' ya think, huh?"

"You think it too, or you wouldn't be here."

"Don't think I ever been good fer anyone…"

"Merle…" she began, ready to counter any self-criticism.

"Lemme finish," he said calmly, though his eyes remained on his work, "like I said, I ain't never been good for anybody, even Daryl… and I oughta, I _wanted_ ta try fer him. But I," he frowned, his fingers slowing, "I don't think no-one's ever cared…never even _thought_ 'bout whether they're good fer me… and… tha's gotta mean somethin'" He looked up at her now, eyes burning into hers, "I gotta make it mean somethin'. I wanna try fer ya, Beth. I ain't promisin' ya nothin', wouldn't mean anythin' if I did wit' my record, but I wanna chance ta try…"

Beth hooked an arm around his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss, as though her lips could press her faith into him. "You're going to get that chance, Merle," she promised breathlessly when they pulled apart, "and you're going to succeed, I know it."

They kissed again, his body moving over hers slightly so that by the end they were starting to become aroused again. Catching each other's eye, they knew with regret they had to stop. Merle rolled off her with a sigh, and Beth gave him an affection peck on the check before padding off to pick up her clothes. She had just put on her bra when she spotted it… chancing a glance over her shoulder, she saw Merle was buttoning up his shirt with his back to her. She quickly scooped it up and put it under her jacket before she pulled on her t-shirt.

"Ya good ta go, girlie?" she heard Merle ask before his heavy arm descended on her shoulder, and a kiss was pressed to her temple.

"Just my jacket," she replied, picking it up carefully so her prize wasn't visible.

Merle walked her back to the cell block, and before she could reach for the door he pulled her back against him, his mouth at her ear.

"Dream a me, girlie," he whispered wickedly, nipping the lobe of her ear before letting her go. Beth turned quickly but he was already walking away, apparently to check the fence one last time. Stroking her burning ear and smiling at his behaviour, Beth made her way inside.

From the darkness, cold blue eyes watched this exchange in shock and horror.

…

So, very long chapter for which I'm sorry. I could have broken it into two but I thought that would break up the flow of the smut, which I didn't want to do to my lovely readers. Do please review if you enjoyed. Also, let me know if you have any objection to a chapter being from Merle's perspective. I think it would add to it, but I don't want to throw anyone out given it's all been from Beth's perspective so far.

Those of you waiting for Weeds, it is coming I promise, it's just a difficult birth. Shame is pretty much done and should be up next weekend. In the meantime, feel free to try the first chapter of my new short story, Hurt, which is Merle/Maggie, or Merlie. I've tried to write it very slightly as a counterpoint to this chapter, but you'll have to judge if that's worked.


End file.
